Same But Different (Completed)

Chapter Twenty Five

"Guilt is what leads you to face yourself," Whitney said, her voice dipping into a quieter, more sinister tone. "It's a feeling that sticks with you, and you can't escape it. Not until the truth comes out."

As she finished, she held her gaze on me just a second longer than necessary, a cold glint in her eyes that made me feel exposed in a way I couldn't explain.

"Thank you, Whitney," Mrs. Haynes said, breaking the tension, her voice sounding almost relieved. "That was... an interesting perspective. Man, you guys sure have a lot to say"

I sat back down, my heart pounding in my chest. I didn't even know how to process what had just happened. I could still feel Whitney's eyes on me, and I couldn't shake the feeling that she was taunting me, digging into a part of me I wasn't ready to confront.

And then, before I could calm myself, Mrs. Haynes's voice rang out again.

"Yuri, you're up next."

I froze. My heart skipped a beat. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to say anything, to open up, especially not in front of everyone. My hands felt clammy as I rose to my feet, and the room seemed to close in around me. The weight of all their eyes was suffocating. 

I walked to the front of the room, trying to keep my steps steady, my mind racing with the thoughts of what I was about to reveal. When I reached the front, I grabbed a slip of paper from the pile, trying to focus on the task at hand. I unfolded it, and as soon as I saw the word written on it, my heart dropped.

"Goodbyes."

My breath hitched in my throat. I felt like I had just been hit with a wave of emotion that threatened to drown me. Belle's face flashed in my mind, her voice, the tears she had shed when she left. The pain of that moment came rushing back, and I had to swallow hard to keep from falling apart in front of everyone.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself, but the words were already tumbling out of me before I could stop them.

"Goodbyes," I began, my voice trembling slightly. "Hello's are always nice. You meet someone, you care for them, and everything seems perfect. But then comes the goodbye. You never expect it, but one day, they're just gone. And all you're left with are memories. The goodbye is what you have to face, even when you're not ready for it."

My mind spun. I wasn't just talking about high school, or about friendships. I was talking about Belle. I couldn't stop myself. The words just kept coming, each one weighted with the loss I still couldn't process.

"Goodbyes... they don't always mean it's over, though. Sometimes, they're just a pause. A moment for both people to figure things out before they can move on. But it's the hardest thing. You never know when it's the last time you'll see someone, hear their voice, feel their presence. And sometimes, you don't get a chance to say goodbye properly. You don't get to say the things that were left unsaid. And that... that hurts more than anything."

I could feel the tears building in my eyes, but I fought them back. I couldn't let them see how much I was struggling. I couldn't let them see that my heart was breaking all over again. The room was too quiet. I couldn't even hear my own voice anymore; it was as if the world had closed in around me.

"I wish I had said my goodbye properly," I whispered, my voice breaking. "I wish I could have told how much .. they meant to me. But the truth is, I wasn't ready to let go. I don't know if I ever will be."

I had said too much, I realized after. But I couldn't take it back.

"Time's up, Yuri" Mrs. Haynes said, her voice soft, almost as if she were trying to shield me from the vulnerability that had just been laid bare for the entire class to see. "Thank you for sharing."

I rushed back to my seat, my cheeks burning with embarrassment. My hands were shaking, my stomach twisted in knots. The class remained silent, and I could feel the weight of their stares, heavy and knowing. It felt like I had stripped away the mask I'd been wearing, and now they could see me for who I truly was — fragile, broken, lost.

As the bell rang, signaling the end of class, I gathered my things as quickly as I could, my heart still racing. I needed to get out of there. But before I could escape, I heard Jason's voice.

"Yuri"

I turned to find him standing by my desk, his expression softer than I'd ever seen it. There was something in his eyes — something deep, something understanding. He stepped closer, his brow furrowed with concern.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I didn't know how to answer him. I wasn't okay. I didn't even know what "okay" felt like anymore. But I couldn't say that. So I forced a smile, though it felt like a mask.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, my voice too tight. "Just... a lot on my mind."

Jason's eyes softened, but he didn't seem convinced. His lips parted as if he was about to say something, but he paused, looking down at the ground before meeting my gaze again.

"I don't think you're fine," he said quietly. "That speech... it was really raw. You don't have to keep carrying this by yourself, Yuri."

"I'll be okay," I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I'll figure it out. I said in the most vaguest way possible"

Jason studied me for a long moment, his eyes searching mine. And then, with a small, almost imperceptible nod, he said, "I'm here, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I broke things off without giving you any closure. If I'm the reason you're still hurting, please let me fix it. You don't have to do it alone."

Oh shit, I completely forgot that while I was pouring my heart out about Belle, Jason might think my speech was about us. How do I fix this?

"I'll handle him" Yuri responded in my head.