I can't breath
I feel like I'm falling and drowning all at once
What's wrong with me? 'you're having a panic attack' something very familiar to me
"Breathe! Calm down you're okay just breathe!" and it's that same voice that stopped me the first time, that pulls me back to reality!
"What the hell?" now in a whisper " I just tried to take my life away." I'm so ashamed of myself. I told myself I would never do what both my father and my brother did but here I am.
"You're okay! Come here" he opens his arms and wraps me into a tight and welcoming hug. It felt so familiar and safe.
After a few minutes of silent hugging I finally decide to speak.
"Why?" I reluctantly take a step back instantly getting a little chilly from the New Jersey air.
"Why what?" he looks at me with a confused face.
"Why stop me? You don't know me yet you saved my life. Why?"
"Well why not? You are a human and you have a purpose on this Earth, everyone does. You can't let these problems you are facing right now tear everything apart cause in a few day, months, maybe even year something or someone is going to come along and make things better. You just have to wait, continue to fight your battles and think about the life ahead of you. You have an amazing future that can only happen if you are alive. Just think if you were to do it you wouldn't get to watch another sunrise or sunset, you wouldn't get to eat your favorite food every again, you couldn't go to college, you wouldn't be able to get married" I could sense sadness and a hint of realness in his voice like this was coming from experience. "You wouldn't be able to teach your future kids everything you know. You couldn't hug your family anymore or tell them you love them." he was no longer looking me in the eyes. " Anyways everyone deserves a chance to fufill their dreams and live their life to the fullest. And you have a family that I presume would be very upset and I couldn't live with myself if I knew I let you jump." he was serious. He's felt pain. He's experienced a loss. He's survived.
"You lost someone didn't you?" I was reluctant to ask this question not knowing my limits and seeing as he slightly tensed up told me I had touched on a bad subject.
"Uh, yeah... I have- had a twin brother that I lost to suicide. His name was Grayson" He was hurting. I could tell Grayson was everything to him and that the loss was really hard on him.
"I'm so sorry I shouldn't have asked! I'm sorry for your loss though... I too lost my brother . His name was Bradley he's older by four years"
"You're fine really. And I'm sorry for your loss as well"
"Thanks" I faintly smile "Well I'm Arabella! Arabella Lorain, you?" he smiles
"Pretty name! I'm Ethan! Ethan Dolan." he says proudly making me giggle
"Oh pretty name!" I smile proudly copying him
"Haha! Thank you!" he does a little bow
"No problem E anytime."
"Oh 'E' is it? Well if we are already to the nickname stage then I am going to call you Ella." he was now smirking and damn did that look good on him.
"Hmm. No one has ever called me Ella before always Ara or Bella. I like it"
"Glad you like it Ella cause I'm not changing it." he winks at me with that same smirk and I swear this boy is gonna make me need an inhaler.
"Yeah yeah E! Well it's getting kind of late and I start school tomorrow. Should I expect to see you at Long Valley High?" I wanted to know if I will at least have one friend
"Oh no sorry, I'm uh... homeschooled. My mom thought is was better for me cause of bullies and everything with Gray." he's frowning now
"Oh no I'm sorry people can be dicks I would know I've also been bullied which is part of the reason I was here."
"I'm sorry Ella. Well can I meet you here after school?" he sounded hopeful?
"Yeah! Well depending on how tomorrow goes I might most definitely be back here."
"Hey! No! I do not wanna have a round 2 of what happened today."
"What? You saving a pretty girl and getting a new friend?"
"Well that was a plus" there's that wink again making me blush. He just agreed he thought I was pretty. "but no seriously please don't do that again because one day no one will be here to stop you and this world needs someone like you." he has a way with words.
"Okay I won't do it again I promise. So I'll see you here tomorrow?"
"Wouldn't miss it for the world" his smile could light up a room.
"Sounds good! Until tomorrow, goodbye E!"
"Goodbye Ella!" and with that I made my way back to my Jeep.
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Sorry for not updating but here is Chapter 4 I hope you are liking the story so far
