Chapter 35

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A/N: Sorry this took me like three days! I dropped in mood on Friday, but then I had a date on Saturday and Sunday I was mostly sleeping and out with the fam, so yeah. Here you guys go though! I hope this makes up for my absence.

He rest ringed the mesh of his lacrosse stick for what felt like the hundredth time this past week, the anxiety gnawing at his insides as he thought of the event of the last full moon. He doesn't know what made him come talk to Ms. Morrell. She didn't exactly have a calming aura to her, but he figured he was desperate.

"You know, the body doesn't actually breath water in until the last moment? Y-Your body fights hard, through all the excruciating pain just to avoid opening your mouth under water and drowning. I-I looked it up, it's called voluntary apnea and...it's so strong that you pass out before you drown. It's described as...almost peaceful."

"Does that mean you hope Matt experienced a moment of peace before he died?" Morrell inquired.

"No." It's true. Matt killed people. Hurt the people he loved. He hoped the guy died painfully.

"Do you feel sorry for the nine year old Matt who almost drowned?"

"Childhood trauma doesn't give him the right to kill the people who hurt him. The guy was - he was all kinds of messed up. Investigators found a bunch of pictures of Allison on his computer. Photoshopped himself into several of the them to make it like he was the love of her life or something...Matt was riding the crazy train for a long time." He let out a humour laugh, fingers reddening and healing almost instantly as he fixed the mesh.

"Okay...How about your father and you? Has anything...changed? After that night."

"I- uh, I guess. Dads back as Sheriff, which is good. There's uh...a new tension I guess, between us. I haven't talked to Scott either since the full - that night. Everything just seems...a bit rocky. Scott and Allison are also not speaking, but that's her choice. She doesn't want anything to do with me. Near death of her mom obvious hit her hard, and she seems to be pushing it on us. Closer with her dad though, so...that's good." Stiles cleared his throat. "Jacksons not himself lately." Understandably so. "Lydia has to be the most normal of the group at the moment."

Morrell's eyes flittered down to the mesh he was tightening almost obsessively.

"Are you nervous about the championship game tomorrow night?" She hummed.

"No. I never really play anyway. But, due to the fact that one teammate is dead, one has a broken leg and the other is gone so often, it might change."

"Right, the runaways. How do you feel about that?" God, she changed subject so often Stiles was unsure if it was counselling or interrogation.

"I...Didn't really know Erica or Boyd, Isaac was a friend, that's all."

"You hung out with all three quite often though."

"Taking in the strays." He said hoarsely, gritting his teeth when the rope rubbing against his finger harshly.

"I see...How are you sleeping?"

"I'm not. I'm...constantly jumpy and I always...I'm scared all the time that something terrible is about to happen." She wrote something down on her notepad and Stiles wanted to grab it, read what she thought of him, let all his problems on paper tear into him.

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