Your Love Is Just A Lie (A Davekat Fanfiction)

Stop Trying - Chapter 7

If I ever leave I could learn to miss you, 

But sentimental boy is my nom de plume" 

My airsac's surrounding bones clenched and I must've made a sound that sounded like a short human wheeze, because as soon as I did a worried Rose turned around. Dave did this every. day. Inputting song lyrics fitting to his emotions into my phone via the short message service (A/N: SMS). 

"Let me save you, Hold this Rope

I may never sleep tonight, 

As long as you're still burning bright

If I could trade mistakes for sheep,

Count me away before you sleep

I'll stay awake 'til I trade my mistakes or they fade away"

Ughhhhh, nonononoNO. I banged my hand into the table. "Ughhhhhh," Rose's purple eyes were on me. 

"Karkat, what are you looking at?" Her voice questioned, and you could still hear a pang of sleep in her voice. I glanced right back at the phone to see the second message. Wow, I'm so intent on destroying myself aren't I. I'm such a worthless pack of mutant DNA. Second messages are the worst - because Dave always sent a text in his own words not a song. 

I know you hate me, but I love you. He'd written 

"AGHHHHHHH." I turned off the phone just like every day. How self-pitying, worthless, and obscene must I be to make someone feel like I hate them. I'm such a jerk, a bigger jerk than the human jerk. He'd even used proper grammar for once. 

"Karkat," Rose moved her hand swiftly over to the phone and picked it up, confiscating it. "They're Dave's texts aren't they. What have I told you about that?" Rose said the words arranged so neatly, but as always all she really needed to say was 'I fucking told you that it would make you feel worse.' The only response I gave was a whining noise escaping my mouth like a wavering stream of whine. "Karkat?"

"You told me not to look at the messages." 

"excellent." Maybe it was just the human breed of 'Americans' that were indolent sacks of shit. wait. WAIT-nope they're all indolent assditches with a thinkpan the size of a small seed that's never going to bloom. Rose slide a bowl of 'cereal' next to me. Loops of artificially colored flavoring floating around in white liquid. I eased myself upwards and placed my fingers to hold the cold metal spoon in place. Rose, in her usual manner, just leaned right over the counter with her head held by the palms of her hand and her elbows on the counter, eyes half open to examine my face. 

"Did you know different color fruit loops don't have different flavors?" I stopped chewing on my food and looked up at her. 

"What in the name of the God of FUCK are fruit loops??" 

"The artificial grains of cereal you're eating." 

"...And they don't have different flavors, they're all the same flavor." 

"Precisely." I swallowed the fruit loop granules and I pushed away the bowl. "I hate humans and their human buy-products." I mumbed and put the bowl in the sink, half filled with cereal still. 

"Karkat, it's just a cereal! If you leave it out it'll become soggy and go to waste!" Rose complained and I threw up my arms. 

"DOES EVERY HUMAN KNOW THAT THEIR LIFE'S A LIE?? NO ONE TELLS ME ANYTHING AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I GET WHY? BECAUSE GUESS WHO'S THE BIG DIPSHIT OF STUPIDITY AND NAÏVITY." I packed myself up and went back into my room. Days went on like this. Pesky little arguments with the troll of good for nothing; staring at the ceiling; wishing that there was something I felt like doing but knowing that everywhere I went there was a possibility for me to find Dave. I was the fox in a world of hunting dogs. What big ass hunting dogs they were. 

Tick, tick. There was a tapping noise on the window leading to the balcony. Tick, tick. 

"What the..?" I walked into my temporary respiteblock before hearing another blasted sound - THUD THUD. I ran over to the balcony and slid open the glass door; the fucking neighbors kids must've been at it again. 

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOI-" I stopped, looking down at who was actually beneath the balcony. 

"LO! SHE SPEAKS!" Came the voice from the poser with the shitty blonde hair and douche-y shades. I would've moved if I wasn't such a stupid idiot in shock. "O, speak again bright angel, for thou art as glorious to this night being o'er my head as a winged messenger from heaven." Dave pulled off his shades, and I could see into his eyes. It was like he was shooting me persistently and trying to prove he wasn't such a cheating backstabbing human boyfriend/ex boyfriend?

"Uhh, uhmm." Dave was losing his rhythm. "'Tis but my species that is thine enemy. I am myself, a human, but what is a human? It is no hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part. O, let me be of another species. What's in a species? That which I call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Henceforth, I'll never be a human. My species, dear saint, is hateful to myself." He didn't even have a piece of paper. He was just reciting all of the stupid ass lines. 

"Come on, Karkat! I know you know the words!" I hissed both to myself and at myself at Dave's comment. 

"Dave, Dave, what the fuck art thou wanting, Dave. Go. The FUCK. Away. If I do see thee, I will murder thee." I screeched at him, but there were tears in my eyes. Kanaya showed up behind me. Oh GOG, she must've come here without me knowing. 

"Dave, what are you doing?!" She shouted down at him, and he looked completely lost then and there. "Don't you think you've done enough already?" It was the first time I'd seen Kanaya so cold, and it must have been the first time Kanaya had ever been near me when I had small little red droplets forming in my tear ducts. "Come on, Karkat." She started pulling me back inside because I must have turned into an anchor. 

"I DIDN'T DO IT." Dave shouted as the door was sliding shut, being shut by Kanaya. I could even still hear him. Why was he trying so hard? "I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP." But the door was shut once again, and I just sat there on the side of the bed, numb. 

"Karkat," Kanaya, with her tall stature, was able to lean in front of me and still be at basic eye level with me. She put her hands on my cheeks, which were beginning to go damp and red, before putting my face to look at her. My eyes just couldn't bear looking into hers. "Karkat. I'm not going to put this covered with sugar; the blonde human, he's not going to stop trying." I nodded slightly on the inside. On the outside I must have just looked like a spiteful, tearing mess. Kanaya still made me feel like she had seen me nodding on the inside. "But, I think you need to decide now if you want to return back to him, or if you're going to sever your connections. Nothing is ever going to change if you remain strung together by the word 'boyfriend', and I can not bear to see you like this. Neither can Sollux nor Rose, nor Terezi, nor Jade, nor anyone." There was a pause in between her words, where I knew that she was right but I also wanted to shred everyone around me and believe that none of it was true. 

"Kar.. Karkles," Kanaya said the nickname with reluctance before bringing me into her in a caressing hug. "I think you need to decide. Maybe you won't decide today, or tomorrow, or the day after, but you need to or nothing will end." She repeated the entire thing one time over again. As the multiple red translucent spheres slid down my face, I knew she was right.