What happened to the old me

Confession

"Collins..."
"Yes?"
"I need to talk to you about something." I said as I sat down at the table as tears started pouring down my face. "Collins I'm so sorry." I said sobbing
Collins got up and hugged me. I continued crying. He sat back down. "Collins, I've been bullied all through middle school and high school. And I'm really sorry I haven't told you, col-" before I could finish Collins said "Devan, your bullied? Why would anyone bully you?!" He asked. "Many reasons." I said crying more.
I took off my shirt and showed him my back. I heard Collins gasp and he started bawling. "Collins"
"Devan why would an-anyone do t-this to y-you?" He asked sobbing. "Because he hates me. He hates my face, he hates my smile, my body, he hates it when I'm in videos, and he's the reason I don't smile. Im ugly and I'm worthless. I get kicked and punched and cussed at everyday. He always takes that sharp bald and forces it as far as he can into my skin. And then I have to walk out of the bathroom like everything is fine. When it's really not. I just want to die!" I screamed sobbing more. "D-Devan... who is t-this person?"
"I'm not allowed to say" I said
"Well Devan you have to tell me."
I told Collins his name. And he flipped. "I'm going to have to talk to this guy, no one treats my little brother like this. Devan you can't leave. I need you. I love you so much. You have no idea how much I love you. I would be nothing without you, Devan you can't leave me." Collins said sobbing. "Collins, I miss all of our memories, and the times when I actually had fun making videos, I feel so self conscious and I can't do it. I get made fun of. I can't help it that I'm so skinny. And my smi-"
I was about to finish talking then he cut me off. "Devan, you can't end your life because of this guy, he's jealous of you!"
"Why would be jealous of a crap head like me?!" I asked "because your so amazing and I know everyone wants you as their brother. Devan I love you I would be worthless without my brother, my best friend" Collins said sobbing more. "I love you too collins, but this world would be better without me. I can't take it anymore." I said. "Devan..." Collins asked
"What?"
"Have you been cutting yourself?" He asked crying more. I didn't answer, I had considered it but haven't done it yet. "Collins I gotta go to my room, I need some alone time." I said getting up "no devan!"Collins screamed. "You can't be alone, it's dangerous."
"I'll be fine. I just need to be alone." He finally let me go to my room. I didn't do anything, I just laid in my bed looking at my instagram and snapchatting.

"DEVAN!!!!!" I heard my mom screaming. She came running upstairs and just about kicked my door open. "Devan are you ok?!" My mom screamed in panic. "Mom what's wrong?!" I asked. She was crying and she grabbed my face. "What happened to your eye?!" She asked. "Umm"
"Collins told me everything, Devan I'm so sorry" she said sobbing "mom it's fine!" How many times did I have to say it's fine. "Devan please don't go" mom said. I looked into her eyes. They were red and swollen. Her sweet caring eyes made me bawl. I hugged my mom and she rubbed my back. "Ouch." I said while taking in a lot of air. "What's wrong?!" Mom asked. I turned around and took off my shirt. She gasped. "Devan, did you do this?" She asked in fear. "No mom..."
"Who did it then?!"
"A guy who is bullying me... he beats me everyday and cuts my back everyday... digging the knife deeper, and deeper everyday..." mom sobbed more and held me tight. "I love you more than you will ever know Devan." She said stroking my head. I never wanted to let go of my mom. I never wanted to go back.

Does anyone have any suggestions for the next chapter?