may hell be lit

1

"lainey, stop crying. I don't even know why you're trying to make me feel bad for you, suck it up and get out of my face." my mom waved me off and i gritted my teeth with anger. i strongly hated that my mother didn't understand me, i couldn't help the fact that i cry when i feel overwhelmed.

"we could always buy you another one anyway, its just a stupid dog." as wrong as it might sound, I've never wanted to slap my mother so hard. my father had bought us a family dog that i ended up naming cocoa. he was brown and white pitbull mixed with another breed of dog. for a long time cocoa was someone i considered my only friend, even if he wasn't human.

i couldn't stand to see everyone i know be so drawn into every negative thing on earth, at this point it gets highly boring whenever you want to do normal things with your friends and all they want to do is gossip and speak on business that has nothing to do with them.

so yeah, i took i nice break from people in general for a while. cocoa kept me company. he laid in my bed and listened to my saddening music, attempted to play games with me and participated in other things i enjoyed doing.

just like me, his attention span was short. so of course i had my doubts about leaving him alone with my mother while i went to school but i had no choice. i frequently remind my mom here and there to lock the gate to make sure he doesn't get out. and what does she do ? forget.

i really do believe she forgot on purpose. but what other choice did i have other than to walk away as of now ? as mad as i was, i would never be able to find the courage to talk to my mom like she was a bitch off the streets. i frowned harder and kissed my teeth, i hate how i cry when I'm angry.

"i'm going outside" i mumbled and she waved me off again turning her attention back to her magazine.

i slid on one of my hoodies and a pair of vans and shut my house door behind me. it was sprinkling outside but I didn't mind, i enjoyed the rain.

i put my earbuds in my ear and pressed shuffle on my phone.

mind playing tricks on me by the geto boyz started to play and i hummed along to the parts i knew. i walked down the long pathway of my quiet neighborhood occasionally looking behind me just to be cautious.

the trees above me kept me somewhat shaded from the rain that was starting to pour a little harder than before. still no sign of cocoa. the echoing sound of thunder in the distance startled me. my earbuds fell out of my ear and just before i went to put them back in i heard the howling of dog.

i took off running as fast as i could. even with the rain starting to fall harder i was determined to find out whether or not this was my dog. hopefully it is and i can return back home. and hopefully i'm not running into harms way.

how was that ?

- kay