addicted ~•~ e.d.

XLVII

I look up at the clock as the long hand slowly ticks. I sigh as I get up and begin walking out of the kitchen. I reach the stair railing as I hear the door behind me open. I roll my eyes and turn around being greeted by two pink eyes

"Hey baby" he laughs dragging out the "y"

"Really?" I furrow my eyebrows

"What?" He laughs again kicking off his shoes stumbling a little

"What are you doing Ethan" I sigh leaning my back on the railing

"Taking off my shoes?" He throws his keys on the counter

"No what are you doing in general!" I raise my voice but quiet down immediately

"I was out drinking" he lets out crossing his arms

"Why. Why are you doing this" I rub my forehead "you're supposed to be getting better. This isn't you"

"This is me. This is who I am. Why are you judging me" he starts to get angry

"I'm not judging you. I'm just hurt" I sigh and turn around walking upstairs "your pajamas and tooth brush will be waiting outside the door. You can take the guest room for tonight" I say as I continue walking up the stairs

"You can't do that" he spits

"I can" I raise my voice and turn around facing him "once you get your act together then I'll let you back in" I turn back around and walk up and into my room

For a straight week he's come home drunk and high and he doesn't care. We've tried to stop him but he won't listen. When he's hurt he'll shut down. Drink. Smoke. And he won't care who he hurts. He's acting this way because of his mom and dad. But he doesn't have to act childish. Grayson isn't. So he shouldn't either.

I lay my head down and turn to face Oliver who was fast asleep smiling like there was no problem in the world. I'd do anything to feel the way he's feeling at the moment. One day when he gets older he'll have to face the harsh world and I can't protect him forever. Hell his dad can't get his act together now. What'll happen in the future.

I run my hand through his hair causing him to stir in his sleep

"Hey baby" I kiss his forehead "you won't understand a word of this but I just want to let it out" I turn on my back and stare at the ceiling "when I first found out about you I wasn't so sure bringing a child into this world was such a great idea" I chuckle

———
I lay my head against the door and listen to her soft voice

"I didn't know if you'd ever have a normal childhood growing up. Or even getting to know anyone because it would be dangerous going to school. But these days you've been my rock. The only thing making me smile. And I will forever thank you for that" I close my eyes feeling a tear slip from my eyes. I've hurt her because I've been so blind by myself. I didn't even think about how she'd be affected

"I don't want you to ever feel like I don't love you because I always will. You're probably the only I'll ever have. And I swear I will do my best to protect you from everything" she finishes. I can't help who I am. There's a side to me that pushes me to drink away my hurt. And I can't stop myself from doing it.

I wait to see if she says anything else but nothing comes out. I slowly close my eyes and drift off laying in front of the door

———

I wake up and look over at Oliver who's sound asleep next to me. I get up and walk to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I finish and open the door finding Ethan sleeping on the floor. I sigh and bend down towards him running my fingers through his soft hair. He opens his eyes and looks up at me before looking away

"Good morning baby boy" I kiss his cheek and wait for his response but nothing comes out "Ethan" I sigh and turn his face towards me "you're not a screw up ok" I look him in the eyes trying to find an answer

"I hurt you. All the time" he moves my hands off his face "I do what I want and don't even think about your feelings" he sits up and goes across the hall and rests his back on the wall facing me

"You're human" I sit down and cross my legs

"Doesn't give me an excuse to hurt you" he pounds his hand on the floor. I look down at his hand and back up at him. He gets up and looks down at me "You should have left me when you had the chance" a tear slips his eye as he walks down the stairs and out the door

"Nat are you ok" Grayson walks out of his room. I look over to him and sigh

"Grayson he's not okay" I look back towards the door and hear grayson sigh