Calm Before The Storm

chapter 6

Lunch had passed, and now dinner was creeping up quickly. I locked myself away for the entire day.
A knock sounded on the door, as im deep in thought.

"Go away." I mumble.

Ignoring my request the door opens and Ember enters. She shuts the door behind her and comes over to my bed

I sit up against my head board and watch her.

"How are you holding up?" She asks.

I shrug. "Surviving."

"Mom and dad are really worried about you." She says giving me a sad look.

"I know" I mumble looking at my wrapped hand.

"Emerson..." She says sadly, while staring at me.

"What do you want me to say?" I Don't make eye contact.

"Tell me what happened that day. Tell me what your feeling." She says gently.

"I watched my classmates being killed. I held my dyeing bestfriend in my arms, while this person was still shooting. I got shot and didn't realize it. What I feel is anger. Anger for what he did to all of my classmates, me,my bestfriend, and these families. And I'm afraid. Afraid to close my eyes and sleep. Im afraid to ever go back inside that school. Afraid my bestfriend is going to die. I can still see everything when i close my eyes like it was yesterday. That's how i feel." I say knowing i can open up to her.

She takes my hand in here and holds it. "I can't even start and pretend like i know what your going through. But you don't have to be afraid anymore. Your safe.  I understand your afraid for Adam. I am too. But we need to be there for him when he wakes up." She says sincerely.

"If he wakes up Emmie.  If. Not when, if." I say wanting to break down.

She shakes her head. "When he wakes up Emerson. His mom called mom a few minutes ago letting us know he was showing good progress. There's still hope."

My eyes widen. A smile takes over my lips. The first smile in weeks. "Now, dinner is ready so let's go." She says gently pulling me up. I let her drag me.

We both take our seats. I look up to see my mom looking at me. She gives me a loving, sad smile. I look away, not wanting to see the sadness in her eyes anymore. I have enough of that when I look in the mirror. Everyone talked throughout dinner except Sage. She avoided eye contact and said very little. Once it was time for them to go she was the first one out the door. Upstairs I watched as she looked up at the sky with her eyes closed. Her arms wrapped tightly around herself. I can see her take a few deep breathes, before straightening up as her family filed out.  I Watched them get in the car and drive away.

Many news channels and talkshows want to interview me live on the shooting. I can't, not until Adam can do it with me. So i mute my phone and pretend to never see them. It'll stay that way until my friend wakes up. And if he never does, then they'll never be interviews. Simple.

2 more weeks later (last time junp)

My wounds almost completely healed. Things are getting better. Slowly but surely. My nightmares only being a few nights a week, and Adam is getting better by day. So the doctors have high hopes, he'll wake up any day.

On the bad side, I've picked up the bad habit of smoking. When I'm stressed, angry, sad. I smoke.  Getting high makes me forget my problems. Makes me feel okay for awhile. Until reality crashes back and I'm drowning again.

Since school is out of the question for me, mom and dad are making me be homeschooled with the Delgatto kids. Since they've been from the beginning. Now everyday I go to there house to be taught with Sage, Salena, and Stephan.