Save Me

Chapter Twenty-Three

"Okay, shut the fuck up, Buttercup."

"We aren't doing that again. Buttercup is not my code name."

"You don't like it? How about Big Daddy? Or Anaconda? No, I got it - CumSlut1997! Wait, that's my password for everything, forget I told you that."

"We don't need code names. Mission Faggot Escape is over. We made a clean getaway."

"But the enemy still lives," he pointed out.

"There is no enemy."

"Yes there is. The enemy is my mother, the evil bitch."

"So how did you manage to escape?" I asked.

"I walked through the front doors," he said, trying to hide a laugh. "They released me. I just needed you to get there before my mum."

"You're going off the radar again?"

"I'll just stick with you, for a while. If you don't mind. I feel better when I'm around you. I can't explain it."

I wanted to steal a glance over at him, to read his face, to see if he was being genuine. If I was being truthful with myself, I didn't want to be fooled again - not after Luke. I let him in too easily, let my guard down too quickly, and I didn't want it to happen again.

But Darby was different. He was an old flame, a part of my past, and a part of me. I'd already let him in before. His name was carved into my inner skin, a spider that had webbed my heartstrings to his own will. Darby had a level of control over me that I didn't want to accept. Even if he didn't know about it, he had an influence on me. He knew all my darkest secrets, everything. He'd been there, and he'd even travelled along a similarly twisted path to mine.

If anyone could come close to understanding me, it was Darby. If anyone needed saving more than me, it was Darby.

So when he sat beside me in my car, looking out the window, and spoke to me so gently, his face passive and tranquil, I couldn't help but think - does he mean it? Does he actually want to be around me, and not to fuck, or to toy with me, but just because he actually liked me? Could that be possible? Could I ever be forgiven?

"Sure, of course you can stay with me," I said, after a silence that I let go on for way too long.

I tried to hide a smile, but I couldn't. When he spotted it, he leaned in close to me, pressing his nose against my cheek, and chuckled, "Is that a smile I see? Isaac Attenborough, looking happy for once? Is this the effect I have on you?" he teased. "Next you'll start blushing, and fainting like a teenage girl whenever I touch you."

"You aren't that hot," I said.

"When did you go blind?" he asked.

"You're being really goofy, what meds are you on?"

"This is me stone cold sober, baby," he said. "I mean, they stuck me on anti-depressants and held me under observation. Do I seem anti-depressing to you?"

"Sure."

"Then they worked! It's embarrassing that I was even there at all. A mental hospital? Like, are you fucking kidding me? Me! A mental case! Who would've thought it?"