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Once the sun begun to cast orange and pink hues over the sky, all the men scattered about the house started precisely filling the trunks of many range rovers with all out our belongings. I didn't have much, always being on the move really made you cut out unnecessary items and every house we move to comes fully furnished and equipped, so we only really had clothes and some mementos.

I sat down on the front porch and watched, easily a hundred men, all talking on the phone and walking around. The land we lived on was well over a three dozen acres, but the guys all cramped into the house and on the front lawn, maneuvering swiftly. Being so caught up in a daze I didn't notice a body sit next to me and nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Sweetie, were leaving in 15. Are you all set?" my mother asked sweetly, tears evident in her eyes. We hadn't talked about what had happened or even what would happen next, but this car ride was as good a time as ever to talk it all out.

"Yeah, I'll just have to grab my phone before we go." I softly smiled, it being the only thing I had been able to do in the last 24 hours without crying right there on the spot. She nodded and stood up, wiping off whatever dirt had gotten on her before disappearing into the house.

******

It had been 3 hours into the grueling 19-hour trip we were going to be enduring, and we haven't stopped once. My restlessness was growing as my ability to hold in the need to go the bathroom was slowly dwindling. I was in a car with three of my father's men and my mother while in the car ahead of us had my aunt and two cousins, and three cars behind us had more of my father's men piled in. most of the men had to stay behind to finalize some things and would be joining us in Arizona in a few days. I looked over to see my mom with her head against the window, eyes shut and silent tears rolling down her cheeks. My heart clenched at the thought of what she could possibly be dreaming of, feeling the sudden urge to wake her up in an attempt to stop the tears.

"Mum," I nudged her shoulder lightly with my hand, "wake up mom." I said in a soft whisper, as to not attract the attention of the men in the car.

Her eyes fluttered open and she hastily wiped away the stains on her cheek. "Oh, dear I didn't even realize," she sniffled trailing off before finishing her sentence.

"Mom its ok, do you want to talk about it?" I asked, rubbing up and down her arm to comfort her.

"I-I just miss them so much. I didn't even get to say goodbye, I know what they were doing meant the world to them, but to just leave- "

"They didn't leave us mom." I cut her off abruptly not wanting her to think any of this was their fault. "Leaving is selfish, they loved us more than anything and would never just leave. They were taken from us, but even then," I brought my hand to my heart and met her eyes, "they're still right here. They'll always be right here. They'll never leave us."

She nodded slowly, quietly digesting my words, as her hand contacted mine and held it in her lap.

"I love you, figlia. Besides your father, you're all I have left now and I will be damned if I let another one of my babies get taken from me." She had her gaze set forward, tears steady flowing down her face. This time I didn't stop them either from pouring out of my eyes. I was crying for my parents, who had lost their boys, for me who lost the only people I had ever been able to talk to freely, and for the extreme danger my family was now in.

I let my head fall onto my mother's shoulder, drowning out my thoughts with the soft hum of the car and slipping into a deep sleep.

When I woke up, the sun was blinding me through my eyelids, my neck felt stiff and the urge to pee had multiplied. I reluctantly opened my eyes to see that the scenery had changed and was now sporting tall palm trees, while the sun shone bright in the sky. My mother was awoken and going through emails on her phone, the man next to me was the driver from last night, fast asleep and the man that was previously next to me now in the passenger seat, and the other guy in the driver's seat. I glances at the radio clock and saw it said 11:19 am. Groggy and now uncomfortable I moved my body and tried to stretch my arms the best that I could given the cramp confines.

"Morning sleepy head, we were waiting for you to wake up so we could get some food." My mother smiled at me even though a frown was evident on my face. I nodded in response and looked forward, willing myself to go back to sleep.

What felt like seconds later I was being shook awake and told to get out and go into the restaurant. I mumbled something incoherent and threw my long black hair into a messy ponytail before stepping out into the day light.

When we entered the small diner, I noticed a large vintage clock read 12:03 pm. Not sure how I slept so long I huffed to myself before making my way to the booth where my mother, aunt and cousins were seated. All the men were in surrounding booths or at the bar top, minding their own business. That's what I really liked about these guys, by receiving specific instruction from my father and uncle not to intrude unless necessary, they never pestered us or flocked around us and were also always open to having a nice conversation instead of staring with a stoic expression and coming off as rude and grumpy.

Before sitting I muttered something along the lines of using the bathroom before walking to the back of the diner. As I looked in the mirror the reflection frightened me. I had huge bags, but knowing I had enough sleep I assumed it was from the crying. My hair was a disheveled mess and I could practically see the stench rising from me.

I fixed my hair the best I could and went to use the sacred bathroom I've been needing for the last 15 hours. Once I was finished I made my way back to the seats and noticed a tall vanilla milkshake waiting for me and I felt the huge grin spread across my face.

"It's from that gentleman over there" the waitress informed with a wink. I turned around to see who she was pointing to and saw Jake, one of my favorite workers for my fathers, and instantly started howling with laughter. He looked my way and smiled back at me, nodding his head. My mother and aunt started chuckling as well, leaving the waitress flustered and confused.

We ordered our food and stuffed our faces with an abundance of greasy food before piling back into the cars and finishing our trip to Arizona.