Elizabeth hasn't been asked out in over 11 years, so she's completely over the whole romance thing. I mean all she can sum it up to is that she HATES Valentines Day. But her best friend Jenny signs her up for an online dating site. Through a series...
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It's not so bad Elizabeth thought. I mean how bad can working at a chocolate shop 4 days before Valentines day? Elizabeth sighed defeatedly. She answered her own question: Really BAD.
All day I have to help helpless men trying to get their girlfriends candy. The candy orders go like this: Boyfriends get their girlfriends medium displays of affection, flowers, candy, big teddy bears. Fiances go bigger, Rings, expensive jewelry, fancy chocolates. Husbands and Wives go simple, Candy or flowers. So based on the fact that we are a fancy expensive candy store you can probably guess which ones we get the most.
The typical order goes like this: This was my personal favorite...
A woman and her fiance walk into the store. Let's just call the woman Bell, and the guy, Tim.
Bell walks up to me and shoves her giant rock of a ring in my face. "See it." She says smugly.
"Oh yes, it's lovely." I always say, I don't really care.
"I bet it cost more than your entire year's salary!" Bell bragged. At this point the 'Bell' is always looking through our shiny cabinets with her hands pressed against it. Getting it dirty, after I literally just cleaned it.
"I'm sure it did," I always say it sarcastically, but they never pick it up, "Now can I help you pick out anything?"
The 'Tim' of the story is always standing to the right standing awkwardly, waiting for his fiance to pick out the chocolates. He always just stares off in the distance, not really caring. Now it's time for the 'Bell' to turn around and look excitedly at her fiance, to which he'll smile and nod like he's been paying attention to whole story.
"So," She will always stretch it out as long as possible, to achieve maximum annoyingness, and to make sure I'm paying enough attention to her, "What are your most expensive chocolates?"
'Tim' will always start to protest, but his fiance will put a finger to his lips without even looking at him, shushing him into silence.
I will then silently reach down to drawer on the bottom far left, where we store our chocolates that nobody wants, like Olive-Caramel or Tomato-Peach. I grab the pricing gun under the box on the right shelves and crank up the dial to 100 dollars per tag, without ever taking my eyes off the happy couple. I silently stick a few of the new tags on each box over the other Sale! tags, and slide them onto the counter in front of the two fiances.
It's not that I have anything personal against the 'Bell' and the 'Tim', but this is my tiny bit of cynical revenge against romance in general. If romance was going to ruin my life, I could at least charge ridiculous prices for the stuff others need to keep it alive. I mean if anyone in the world was ever entitled to do that, it was me. Right?
"Here are our best chocolates! They are our most delicious and yummiest, and I've been holding on to them forever waiting for the perfect couple to come in! You seem like that perfect couple." I giggle in a cheerful voice. The 'Bell' blushes and clasps her hands against her cheek. She will then turn to her fiance who is trying to not look at the prices and wince, and with one look she'll get him to fork over the money. She will then promptly walk out of the shop without a word and turn the corner, dragging her fiance behind her.
"Suckers," I think.
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If you think that stinks I have to deal with about seven to nine 'Bells' a day. It's exhausting. Well little did I know my day was about to get a lot worse. Though I should have guessed by the fact I had over 399 unread text messages from Abby...
