Because Mom Wasn't Enough

By the time you're hearing this I'll already be gone

A/N: Hey guys so I tried to update earlier, but I've been super busy ughhh but here's the next chapter! I'll try to get another up soon :)

Jo's POV

I'm sitting on a bus with a bunch of sweaty guys, one drumming in the corner. Only this is a city bus, and these aren't my sweaty guys. And the drummer? Well, let's call him Rob. Rob is pounding away on some bongos which looked like they went through the second world war. Hell, Rob looks like he went through the second world war. No, that's mean. Sorry Rob.

I looked out the window, watching the old factories turn into desert, turn into trees as we drove further and further from the heart of Texas. I got to the Texan border when the bus stopped. I was asked to get off and did so willingly. Just as Danny had promised, another bus stopped at the bus stop where I was, only it took me past the Texan border and all the was to California.

How could I have let myself get into this much trouble? I don't even want to be involved with this. I never wanted to be in the gang, I never wanted to find out I had a brother, I never even wanted my dad! I know, I know, I'm an ungrateful little fucker, huh? If only I had never fought with my mom, none of this ever would have happened. If only Bull would have let Sam rape me. If only I had died when my mom attacked me. People have died for me, and I don't know why. What's so special about me? Why didn't they just let one person die opposed to the amount that has already? Why does Danny want me dead so badly?

I was ordered to get to San Diego by the morning. Now I was second guessing myself. Could I just run? Couldn't I just hide and go somewhere else? Even if they found me, who's to say they wouldn't have just killed me anyway? What's pushing me towards Danny? Oh right, Vic and the guys...

No.

I have to stop thinking about them. They're on their own. Wait that's not true; I'm on my own. The guys have each other. They also have millions of fans and crew members who are always around them. I'm the one on my own. I'm the one without backup. I'm alone. So if I'm going to die anyway, why not prolong it a while? Danny doesn't care about Dad and the guys. He doesn't need to go after them. I'm the one he wants.

But Dad... He doesn't even know I left. He doesn't know where I am. It's better that way, but he also doesn't know why I left. He's going to think it's his fault. I know Vic and that's what he's going to think. I was so cold to him. He's probably glad I left. I bet they all are. Cali, Mark, all of them. They're better off without me. I caused so much trouble.

But...they deserve to know, don't they? I should have left a note or something. Maybe, I could call them? No, I can't talk to them right now. And I don't want any of them trying to convince me to come home. I am home, at least when I'm alone. I guess I can write a letter. That'll work.

I took out a piece of paper and started scribbling down on it.

Dear Vic and the guys,

I got a call from Danny the other day. I know you guys don't think he's anything more than a street gang leader, and honestly, he isn't. But a gang leader has a lot of power. They basically get whatever they want. Danny has weapons. And he has people. There was at least one of his guys following us the whole time and he knew every move I made. He's going to try to kill me, but I'm not going to let him. I can take care of myself, but I can't look after all of you. Danny would have killed you had I stayed. I'm sorry all of you got dragged into this. This isn't you're fault Vic. I don't want you thinking it is because it isn't.

Stay safe. Cali, Mark, take care of them. Don't come after me.

Jo

I folded it up and put it in an envelope, sending it to the address closest to where the guys were. I had no idea if they would get it, but I at least had to give it a chance. I stuck the letter in one of those blue mailbox things on the sidewalk. Where am I supposed to go? I glanced around the block I was on. There weren't that many people, just one here or there. The sun was just rising and it's orange rays cast through the sky causing a hazy glow to obscure the horizon. I hadn't slept all night. Danny knew that, that's why he wanted me here in the morning.

I knew I didn't want to face him. At least not yet. I was exhausted, and I wasn't going down that easy. I can't be here when Danny shows up, I need to leave. I've been all around California, but almost no where else. Being somewhere I know is much safer. There was a bus pulling up to the stop I was at. Danny might find me, but by then I'll be ready for him. I know he doesn't play fair, so I need to compensate for him. I stepped up on the bus and took a seat. There was no one else on the bus so I knew his goons couldn't have followed me. They might even have stayed in Texas. I'm just praying they won't hurt the guys. I expect that Danny would take care of them himself though.

"Where you headed little miss?" The bus driver asked. Normally I would be offended by the 'little miss' comment, but he looked like a nice old person. I told him the only place I could think to go where Danny wasn't. It was like a second home to me and I knew the area better than anywhere. I would be safe there, at least for now.

"San Francisco, please."