Chapter 30. Return

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This is SUCH a short chapter and I'm SORRY. I'm literally writing the next one right now. I'm trying to put this out quickly so I can finish this because writers block is so real my dudes. More is coming soon I promise!

The first night you were back on the First Order base, you woke to your husbands side of the bed being empty. In a half asleep daze you lifted yourself onto your elbows to look across your quarters for him.

On the far side of the room sat your husband. Sitting in a desk chair and staring out the window, viewing the whole of the universe. His arm was propped up and held his head forward. With his legs crossed and messy hair and beard, he looked like pure perfection, with a dash of anxiety.

"Armitage." You spoke quietly, now standing next to him and placing a delicate hand on his shoulder. He remained set on the space before him, but his hand twitched on his knee. "General?" You asked hesitantly. "Will you join me in bed?" He nodded slowly and stood up. He avoided your eyes as he lead you back to your bed, his stride slow and methodical. He gathered himself into a stiff laying position, but his eyes never left the ceiling. You curled a soft hand around his abdomen and gently rested your head on his chest. "I love you?" You offered silently, hoping he'd reciprocate some form of affection.

"Why do you say that like you are questioning it?" He asked gruffly. His voice ranging in a lower octave than usual. You knew he didn't want or expect an answer. Hurt people tend to hurt people as they say. You sighed.

"I don't doubt my love for you Armitage. And I hope you don't either." You responded. His eyes glistened slightly as he remained still next to you.

"I doubt it every damn day." He whispered. Your heart dropped. "I've done objectively horrible things (y/n). My entire existence and success is built on destruction and lies." His bottom lip quivered slightly. You reached up with your hand and turned his chin to face you. He hesitantly met your eyes, as if terrified that his words would finally make you leave him.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" You ask. His eyebrows raised in surprise. Your face stern and demanding. "I know all of this. I never would have fallen for you if I hadn't accepted it a long time ago." He blinked several times in rapid succession. You sat up and looked down at him. "You are the General of The First Order. You've killed. You've cheated and you've lied. All for the side of the war that you have chosen." You hissed. "And you are forgetting one crucial thing Armitage." He sat up slowly, and his eyes met yours.

"What's that?" He asked, and for the first time you saw the pure unknown in his eyes. A man once so good at predicting everything had absolutely no clue what you were about to say.

"I. Work. Here. Too." He cocked a brow in utter confusion. "You aren't the only one who has done morally questionable things. Ive led our troops to do horrendous actions. Ive held people at knifepoint. Ive made decisions that have led to women and children losing their lives. All for this war." You gestured to the ship around you. "We both work here. We both are fighting in this. You aren't the only one who lays awake at night wondering if we will die righteously or not. So I damn well have no right to judge you." You took a deep breath and held one of his hands in yours. "And i will never stop loving you no matter how many questionable decisions you make."

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