"Goodbye. I love you!" were the last words his mom said to him before he got on the train. They echoed in his head over and over until they worded without making any sense. "I love you!... I love you..." continued his useless thinking while fidgeting with the handle of the bag he still held in his hands. His eyes were lost in the bright colors of the seats of the train that had a weird squared pattern. It looked like one of those optic effects that if you look at for a long time it starts moving.
Then he finally shifted his stare to the bright font of light that appeared behind the curtains of the big window near his seat. The sun was right at the height of his window now and it blinded him making him snap out of his trance.
"6:35 mh.." sighed the boy lifting the sleeve of his black coat up to check his leather watch. He realized it was going to be a long ride when he made some fast calculus up in his head subtracting the hour it was to the hour in which he was supposed to arrive. He got himself comfortable on the seat of the deserted wagon putting his brawn bag beside him and taking off his long beige coat, remaining with only a white shirt tucked in his black coordinated jeans.
He shifted the blue curtain to one side and started staring outside of the window. The scenery looked always the same, only a few houses put here and there was the proof that the train was actually moving. There were a lot of different species of trees and bushes but, at that moment, they weren't really the focus of the boy's thoughts.
The sun made it impossible to stare more so he shifted back the curtain covering just the portion of his thin body that leaned towards the window, making his eyes relax in the comfortable and fresh shadow.
---
He started thinking about what it was going to be like living in a different city, what it was going to be like changing school and if he was ever going to get used to it. His thoughts shifted back to the reason why he was changing his life.
He took out of the pocket of his jeans an old-looking piece of paper; it was written both sides and had the characteristic beige color that old books have. Some parts of the paper were damaged but looked like they had been carefully repaired with pieces of scotch tape.
"To Yoongi" was written on the front of the page, big and clear. It was just words, letters, written with a fountain pen on a ripped page of a book but, for the boy who had it left to, it was a treasure to enshrine and a mystery that needed to be solved.
Yoongi kept the paper in his hands and started stroking with his finger the ripped side while lost in his thoughts. He knew the page by heart, every single word written on it, was written into his mind too.
The notes on the paper were the reason why he was on the train in that warm morning, in a deserted wagon, with a bag next to him, and a hundred different thoughts in his head and a heart that was tired of beating too fast for the tension.
"The time has come" sighed Yoongi, staring in front of him with a blank stare. He didn't stop fidgetting for the whole time, the tension grew higher and higher as he was getting closer and closer to the new city.
---
"8:40", the time seemed to be passing slowly when he focused on the clock hands of his watch but a minute felt like a second every time he snapped out of his thoughts and realized that the time he had waited for his whole was about to come.
Tick tock tick tock, the sound was echoing into his mind and almost synchronized with his heartbeat. The noise of the train traveling on the rails was muffled but he could feel the pavement trembling under his feet.
The sun was high up in the sky, so he shifted the blue curtain on the side just to stare at something else other than his watch. The once rural landscape was turning into suburban houses and big and scary looking factories, with black smoke coming out of the huge chimneys. The smoke itself looked scary, it covered the sun from his point of view and, even if that big source of light had bothered him until that moment, this time he missed the warm rays on his pale skin.
Everything gradually started to look dark again, just like his now old city. Big and almost deserted, what even was the sun there? The huge and modern buildings he was used to seeing every day, started reappearing in the distance.
The wide and long streets, full of little convenient stores with big old signs above the entrances, were slightly visible through the big trees that followed the sides of the rails. He sighed, the new city gave him a feeling, he wasn't sure what feeling but he could describe it as a weight on his lungs. He felt weird being there until he actually asked himself if he really was about to do that.
Whatever was taking him there, was inside of him. Was it a feeling? Was it his past trauma?
