Warning, this part of the story features jokes about the following subjects: Bullying, Fourth Wall Breaks
If you're easily offended then go read my poetry book instead. Sorry for the self promo.
I rub my eyes and yawn, the light coming through the neutral gray curtains slightly illuminate the dark bedroom. The image of Wilder is burnt into my mind. He saved my life last night... well... I probably wouldn't have died, but I would've gotten kicked out and that wouldn't be very fun. All the other girls are wide awake and dressed, ready for the "choosing ceremony" or whatever the fuck it's called. The little red headed bitch is glaring at me while holding her side uncomfortably because... well, I kicked her ass, didn't you read that part?
The headmistress lady barges into the room and gestures for the girls and I to follow her, thankfully I'm still wearing my clothes from last night because plot convenience and all that jazz. I hop out of my bed with a smile, I really hope that Wilder got away from those suits of armor and that I'll see him today at the ceremony.
The girls and I follow the old woman out into the dank stone hallway where I met Wilder last night and eventually we find ourselves in the ginormous grand hall. I instantly scan the room for any signs of Wilder, but there are way too many people so I wouldn't be able to see him even if he were standing on stilts, holding a flashing neon sign that says "I LOVE VIRGINIA" and dancing to Cyndi Lauper's hit song "Girls Just Want To Have Fun".
"Okay everyone, please take your seats, the ceremony is about to begin." The headmistress bellows with her old croaky voice, she shows the girls and I to our seats and then heads on up to the front of the room.
The deafening roar of puberty ridden teenagers voices dies down, allowing the headmistress to speak. She gestures to a hat sitting neatly on a pedestal in front of her, the same hat that I rubbed into the floor last night. "Welcome to Hogwarts. Now, in a few moments, you will be sorted into your houses. They are Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. Now, while you are here, your house will be like your family. Your triumphs will earn you house points. Any rule breaking, and you will lose points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup." The old woman provides a lengthy explanation which I'm pretty sure is ripped directly from the script of the first Harry Potter movie but who am I to judge.
The crowd of students cheer for some reason, leaving me feeling more uncomfortable than before.
"The sorting ceremony will begin momentarily." The headmistress turns around and talks to the other teachers, allowing the other students and I to gossip about all the little bitches who will probably get hufflepuff. Thankfully, the old woman turns around before I lose my patience. "We're ready for you now." She announces, which leads to even more cheering. "When I call your name you will come forth, I shall place the sorting hat on your head, and you will be sorted into your houses."
Even more cheering.
The old woman reaches her hand into her pocket and pulls out a giant scroll, which shouldn't be possible but she's a witch so I guess it is. She unrolls the scroll and adjusts her glasses, filling my body with anxiousness. "Georgina Clukey" She reads off the first name, and the little red haired bitch heads up to the front of the room. The headmistress places the hat on Georginas red head, and the hat starts yelling violently "Gryffindor! Gryffindor! Definitely Gryffindor!". Georgina proudly struts over to the group of teens who are all wearing red and orange. What a bitch.
The headmistress wastes no time and reads the next name on the list. "Fuji Whittaker." My heart skips a beat when I hear the old woman announce my name. I awkwardly stand up out of my set and head up to the front of the room, allowing the headmistress to place the hat on my head.
"Oh... It's you... From last night... I see that you got away from those suits of armor, well, that's none of my business, I'm just here to sort you." The hat calls me out, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. "Now... Lets see... Hmm... That's odd... Oh... Whatever, HUFFLEPUFF!" My jaw falls off, I was expecting to be Gryffindor... or even Slytherin... but Hufflepuff? The headmistress yanks the hat off my hat and puts it back on the podium before I can say anything, I slowly walk over to the Hufflepuff side of the room, still confused as heck. I hope Wilder is a hufflepuff.
The headmistress carefully looks over her scroll multiple times before shrugging. "Okay, the rest of you are unimportant to the plot so I'm not going to bother calling your names, now, everyone, I hope you have a wonderful time at Hogwarts wizarding school... Oh wait... Sorry, there appears to be one more name on the list of important people... Wilder Dawolf!" My face lights up when I hear his name.
Wilder emerges from the crowd and makes his way to the front of the room. I cross my fingers hoping that he's also a hufflepuff so we can be together. The hat pauses for a second, but eventually labels him as a Slytherin. I watch in horror as he slumps over to the slytherin side of the room.
"Okay, that's all, everyone, report to your rooms to greet your new housemates." The headmistress demands and sassily flips her cape.
Don't forget to like this because I really want attention.
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Uncle John Don't Get It
Short StoryFollow the adventure of Fuji, an orphan girl who was abandoned by her parents at a young age. Being left with nothing but a giant hole in her heart and voices in her head, she develops into quite a sassy young woman, capable of plowing down rows of...
