Buried Words

Start of Rebellion

For the first time I want something so bad
For the first time I want to be happy not sad
For the first timebI found a light to keep me alive
But someone stole the light and hope that I can survive

I want to smile to that someone and pretend that I was fine
I want to tell him that he deserve that light even it was mine
I want to make myself believe that this is something that I can't prevent
But the fact is I'm really tired of pretending that I want this to happen

I'm tired of blaming myself
I'm tired of helping others if they can't help
I'm tired of acting like I'm an angel
Because deep inside I want to rebel

Maybe this is the fruit of being a person who pretends to smile
Maybe this is a punishment for keeping my own style
A style so I couldn't hurt myself and the people around me
A style that hides the danger behind the beauty

I shouldn't have smiled to someone who I hate
I should have killed someone in my state
But I didn't and that's my mistake
That's the reason why I drowned for other's sake

This time I trust myself that I'm not the one to be blame
For the first time I let myself killed someone who touch my name
And that's the best step I'd ever take
Because I can proudly shout to myself that I'm not fake.

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