Feeling This (Ashton Irwin)

nineteen - insecurities

He raises his eyebrows quite amused with the whole thing. “No you don’t it’s Saturday.” I realize how stupid I must sound now, yet he still comforts me,  “If you don’t want to do this today, we don’t have to. I don’t want to pressure you.”

I sigh, “It’s not that… well it is but, the things I’m going to say to you might change the way you think of me and I don’t want that. My confessions to you should be muttered at 4am, outside on the roof when we’re both too exhausted to think and everything just comes pouring out at once. And you’re too tired to cry or feel emotional about anything so we can skip the heartache over it all. We can just let darkness take over and it’ll feel like we’re shouting the words we so desperately want to keep tucked away to the whole world when in reality I’ll be whispering to only you. Everything’s easier at 4am, and this will be one of the hardest things I’ll ever do..”

He nods, seemingly understanding everything I just said, even if I barely understood it myself, “Alright. I’ll be back then, at 4am, probably with Macca’s?”

“Wait, you’re going to leave me all day?” I say in a whisper.

“I thought you’d want to be alone till then…”

“Yeah, alone with you.” I scoff.

“You’re too adorable.” He says, biting his lip to try and contain the smile that is undoubtedly covering his entire face.

“Don’t call me adorable, it kind of ruins the whole image. Trying to be punk over here?” I say, running a hand through my coloured hair.

“I don’t know how you can be punk when you’re actually adorable.”

“You’re so annoying. Let’s go out? Shopping?”

“Deal. I gotta go get new clothes though.”

“I’ll meet you downtown in an hour, does that work?”

“Of course. Until then.” He says, leaving the same way he came in, through the window.

-

I skate to the area that Ashton told me to meet him at, music blaring in my ears as the wind rushes through my hair. There’s nothing more free than this, I feel unstoppable at the moment.

I easily spot Ashton sitting in a chair outside a random cafe that I never noticed. It’s funny how one simple person can change everything for you.

Before I can get to him though, a short girl with long dirty blonde hair and a skirt two sizes too small prances over to him, tapping him slightly on the shoulder. When he turns around a smile appears on his face, but it looks forced and fake.

She goes for a hug, but he doesn’t respond. He leaves his arms at his waist, and looks very uncomfortable. I thought I was going to have to go beat the hell out of this chick, but it’s almost funny watching Ashton struggle with her.

I wait a little longer, enjoying the show, until she starts to get really hands on with him. He keeps backing up, but no matter where he tries to move, she’s right there.

I’m literally in a fit of laughter when I can’t take it anymore. I put on my bitch face and walk right up to the two of them.

My hand finds Ashton’s immediately as soon as he feels my presence. He seems to relax beside me.

“Hi, I’m Zoe, and you are?” I say completely disgusted at how desperate she is.

“Taylor, one of Ashy’s old friends.” She says with the fakest smile I have ever seen.

“Ashy.. that’s cute, you make him sound like a 5 year old.” I shoot at her. Ashton stifles a laugh beside me, and I can tell he’s totally enjoying the show now. “We better get going then, shouldn’t we Ashy? We’re kind of on a date right now.” I say, emphasizing on the word date so she gets the point.

“Oh, I didn’t realize how much you downgraded after me.” She mutters.

“Ouch, sorry I couldn’t hear you over how irrelevant you are in this whole situation. Ex-girlfriend versus girlfriend? I think it’s kind of obvious who wins here.”

“It was good to see you Ashton,” and before I can even blink she plants a kiss on his cheek. Ashton stumbles backwards, trying to dodge it, but we’re both left dumbfounded as she pulls away. She starts to walk away with her head held high like she somehow beat me.

I stick my foot out as she goes past me, making her stumble a bit. Ashton lets out a howl as her big exit was foiled by me.

He pulls his hand from mine so that he can give me a slow clap for my ‘performance.’ “That was amazing,” He chokes out.

I’m not amused though, I keep my face completely blank while he continues to laugh. “So that was your ex?”

“Zoe…” He groans.

I protest, “It’s just a question!”

He grabs my face bringing it closer to his so that I can see him - really see him. He places both hands on my cheeks and I can feel them getting red with warmth. “We dated for like a week and then I realized she was psycho, is that better?” He says.

I hesitate, but then reassure him by kissing him on the nose. “Much better, let’s go shopping.”

“I hate shopping why did I agree to this?”

“I’ll take you to the music store?” I ask, knowing that he’s a sucker for anything music.
I watch his delicate hazel eyes scan over me, like he’s trying to figure out if it’s worth it. I know he’s going to say yes before he does because I can see right through him, and it’s like I’m watching him work. He wears his heart upon his sleeve and his emotions can be easily deciphered by watching him closely. I assume he thinks my proposition is good enough because he laces his fingers through mine, pulling me down the walkway with him as he mutters, “Deal.”

a/n i swear to god if you didn’t read the first one go back and read it again alright

uhhh hi - if you wanna follow me on twitter its @jessicawolff_ , tweet me that you were sent from wattpad!!  

also to my best friend who thinks she’s smart -

je déteste catty pourquoi ai-je écrit un personnage basé sur vous, allez sucer quelques balles sournois vous muet asiatique par la façon dont vous ne pouvez pas parler français, au revoir

if you can read french comment what it says