Feeling This (Ashton Irwin)

nineteen - insecurities

a/n just a clarification to anyone who didn’t reread the last chapter than i edited - ashton & zo said they THINK they love each other, but need to know more about each other to be fully committed. just thought that was kind of important. alright enjoy!!

If you didn’t read the authors note its important so go read it do it now

“Zoe Lee…” I hear someone whisper in my ear, followed by a soft peck on my neck.

I’m met face to face with Ashton, hovering over my body, who looks even hotter in the morning than he usually does.

Even though the view is very nice, I’m not exactly happy about being awake so early. “Ashton Fletcher, why are you waking me up?” I groan.

“So I can do this.” He says. He places his hand behind my neck and roughly pulls me to him, catching my lips against his. The spark is still there, and it’s even more ignited than before. I bite softly on his lower lip, pleading for entrance. He doesn’t even hesitate, and my tongue begins to explore his mouth. I’m desperate for him, and I love it.

I tighten my grip around him, running my fingers through his messy hair. He moans softly into my mouth and it only excites me more. It feels exhilarating being with Ashton, and it’s a feeling I’ll never be able to get used to.

Despite my wants, he pulls away from me. “Last night was…” He leaves his sentence unfinished and it begins to worry me. Did he think last night was a mistake? Did I do something wrong? Panic is evident in my eyes, and I totally forget that we were so caught up in ourselves moments ago.

“Undescrible.” He says with a large grin on his face.

“You scared me, I thought you were going to say something else.” I laugh but it comes out quieter than I expected.

“Why would you think that? Zoe Lee Smith, I basically told you I love you, and you thought this was a mistake?” He starts to raise his voice and I’m lost as to how this flipped so quickly.

I look back at him, staring into those eyes that kill me. “Wait what? That’s not what I meant at all! Why are you twisting my words?”

“Is this a joke to you?” He turns his back to me as he jumps out of the bed, looking for his clothes from last night.

I pull the sheets over my exposed body, “Ashton what the hell! A few minutes ago we were fine and now you’re looking for an escape! If you didn’t want to be here than why didn’t you just say so rather than looking for the first excuse to leave me?”
“Leave you? I would never want that.”

“So stop overreacting! We’re clearly both insecure here.”

He looks back at me in defeat, “Sorry.”

“I am too.”

“I think I love you.” He repeats his words from last night, kissing me softly. This one wasn’t like before. The way his lips moved against mine was slow and tenderly. You could tell neither one of us wanted this to end.

It was as if we were both holding onto each other, we both desperately needed each other for survival.

I pull away so I can reply, “And I think I love you.”

“Let’s do this now.”

“Do what?”

“Tell each other everything. I want to be able to say that I’m completely in love with you, past, present and future you.” He confesses.  

“I have school…” I quickly say, trying to get out of this situation. Would he still love me, despite how many times I’ve screwed things up?