Breaking The Mirror [Edited And Complete]

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"All right," He shrugs and laps into a comfortable silence. I blink slowly.

What? All right? It can't be that easy. I just tell him to stop and he... does? What's the catch? There's always a catch. What does he want from me? I want to ask him that. I want to yell it, scream it... and when he answers, I want his voice to run through my head a million times until I get the answer. Because my minds swimming too much for me to comprehend it at the present time. What does he want? Everyone wants something and it's only a matter of time until he springs his needs on me, whatever they may be.

I can't trust him.

But I'm starting to anyway.

It feels like I'm drowning.

-

"Hey," He whispers softly, coming into my room. "Are you okay? That looked like it hurt."

I sniffle slightly and nod, "M'okay."

"Well, that's really good," He smiles, but then it drops into a worried frown, "Oh, it's already starting to bruise! I'll get some ice for you!"

He comes back a minute later with some ice in a Glad plastic bag. I smile at him widely as I take the offered bag and press it to my newly formed black eye. He sits down on my bed and looks at me with concern.

"Does he do this often?" He asks me softly.

"No," I shake my head, "I shoulda known not ta bother... It's my fault. But I wish he liked me."

"I'm sure he loves you. How could he not?" He assures me and gives me a hug. I cuddle in his arms and sigh contentedly. I want to stay like this forever. He cares. He really does. It makes me...happy...

I wake up panting.

-

"Jayden!" I turn in the middle of the hallway and turn toward the voice. It's in middle of the school day on a Tuesday, and my third day back at school being able to walk. It's a girl in my class –shy and sweet and tiny. She's got more freckles them brain cells and bright red hair.

"Yes?" I inquire politely.

"Okay, here's the thing," She says, blushing furiously, "Report cards came out and my parents where uber mad because I failed Chem. But Mr. Spencer said for Grade Recovery, if I got you for a tutor then I'd automatically get a C!"

"Uh...I'm sorry, but I can't do anything –"

"He already told me you don't do after school stuff," She said quickly, with her eyes darting everywhere but at me. "So, I don't eat lunch anyway, so would you mind doing it at lunch, maybe every other day?"

"Look, um...I..." Her eyes are go big and pleading that I can't refuse without having a massive guilt trip, "Okay. Tuesdays and Thursdays."

"Ohmigod!" She screams it like its one word. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

And then she kisses me on the cheek before rushing away.

I'm going to kill Mr. Spencer in his sleep.

-

I don't actually kill him, although I glare at him all through the period until he knows something's wrong. He calls me to stay after class, and stay in my seat, slouched and arms crossed over my chest. He smiles at me weakly.

"I see you aren't too happy about Lauren," He says in response to my glare. I nod, "Look, Jayden, I thought it'd be good for you to have a friend, since you obvious don't what to talk to me about anything..."

"No," I shake my head firmly, was he, like, trying to set me up with her? Are teachers even allowed to do that? "Don't. Why does everyone think I need to talk all the sudden?"

"Because you do," He puts his hands on his hips, "Jayden, somethings going on with you and I don't know what to do. Are you into something bad? Gamble your money away, have a drug debt, cuss at the wrong guy and now he's out for your head?"

"No," I reply. It sounds like someone's been watching too much TV.

"Then what?" He shakes his head. "I can't stand not knowing."

"There isn't anything to know," I say and then walk out the door.

You can't stand not knowing?

Well, I can't stand you knowing.

And therein lies the root difference between me and rest of the world.

-

"You little shit!" He snarls at me, punching me in the stomach. Those green eyes looked at me. "You interrupted me to tell me you're hungry? Get something yourself!"

"S-Sorry..." I whimper.

"Sorry isn't worth shit!" He snarls, kicking me for good measure and then leaving. The door slams loudly. I sob and curl myself into a ball, hugging my knees close to my chest.

I wish Charlie were here...

"Fuck," I mutter, waking up at around one a.m. Great. Now I can't go back to sleep. I get up and sigh, putting my head in my hands. Damnit. I stand and walk to the bathroom, deciding to take a shower before getting up for good.

I get to the bathroom, strip and jump into the shower, turning on the water to the hottest degree I can stand and then scrubbing hard. After I'm done, my skin is pink and raw and I re-dress, deciding to at least get some homework done for the first time in a while since I have some time for once.

I actually manage to get math homework, science homework, and an essay for English done. I also, surprisingly, managed to make up that lab I still owe Mr. Spencer. I decide to study the vocabulary words – my lit. teacher is a stickler for that – and then put everything away at 5:15, deciding to grab an apple for breakfast. I then decide to just wait until six and watch whatever's on the television.

After watching the weather report – apparently it's December, and therefore really, really cold – for almost an entire hour, I go outside with the intent of walking to school.

When I go outside, I look around. It's so strange for Seaton to no be standing there, back against the wall and a cigarette hanging from his pink lips. I pause for a moment, and then shake my head. Of course he's not coming. I'm fine now. So, of course, he's not going to want to drive me to school anymore.

I bite my lip and start down the stairs.

I can't get attached.

I'm not attached.

I don't need him.

And I most certainly do not miss him.