Marcel (Marcel/Harry Styles)

Chapter 43

IT'S SUMMER BREAK FFS AND I'M STILL SO BUSY OK.

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MARCEL

I felt really good today. The double-date with Peter went well, it probably could have been better. I could have joined the conversation more, but all in all, it was alright. Also, I had just finished sending in all my university applications. My principle told me I had a good shot at getting scholarships. I had applied to a few schools, but the one I really wanted to get into was the one in London. Or at least I thought so, now I'm not so sure anymore. London is so far away. I have know idea if Grace even wants to go to university.

If she weren't going, would she want to come with me? Would I actually be able to leave her? London is what I've always wanted, but now my priorities have changed a lot. Intelligence is everything I 've ever had, but now my life is filled with so much more. And I have no idea if I'm capable of putting one in front of the other.

God, I could just imagine our university life together. We could live in a flat together, and wake up in our tangled mess. We would get up and have breakfast together and sip our tea together, as we listen to the morning show with Nick Grimshaw. Then we'd realize what time it was and that we had sat with our tea together for too long. She'd panic about her clothes, and how she didn't have to do her make-up or hair. Then I would say she didn't need to spend anytime on any of it, because she was utterly perfect. She would then blush and push me slightly, saying: "Stop it". And I would just smile and kiss her.

"Seriously", she would say and run into to bathroom. I would wait until I heard the shower running and open the bathroom door.

"I need to get ready too, you know!" I say and strip down. I get into the shower with her, even though we both know I have time. I will of course have to confidence to wear my hair natural and I don't need to spend any time on that.

I imagine us going to different schools; she'll study something creative like art, photography or music. When we are outside the door and about to go our separate ways we share our goodbyes. We'd meet up in between classes and she would tell me about this annoying girl in her class, and I would tell her about how to barista at Starbucks wrote my name wrong on my cup.

We'd get home, sleep and do it all over again.

I was ready for that life; it was perfect. But, she vaguely mentioned university with me. She would listen to me talk about it for ages, but whenever I asked her, she changed subject. There was one time she said she wanted to study media, but not where or if she wanted to do it with me by her side.

"What's on your mind?" Grace asks as she enters the room.

"Uni."

"God, I'm sick of this subject!" She groans.

"This is a chat we need to have at some point, we cant avoid it forever", I respond and put my arm around her shoulder and lean back into the sofa.

"We could try", she tries with me. I just shake my head, and she sighs.

"I'm going, but I just don't want to be separated from you."

I know the feeling, probably even more than her. While she'll still have her outgoing personality and ability to make friends, I'll have nothing. She'll find a new group of people to hang out with, and another person to help her with her homework. Slowly, but surely, I would become my fragile self again, and my life would be shit.

"Yeah, same."

It's quite scary how my entire life revolves around this one person. There is so much at stake if I lose her. There is no competition about who loves more in this relationship, but there is definitely a person who has more at stake. It's something we both know. Grace just looks at me with this look, like she knows what I'm thinking. She says nothing, just puts her head on my shoulder and her arm around my waist.

"Hey you", she says after a silence. "Just promise if I don't go or I go to somewhere that is far away from you, just- don't let that affect you. You go to London and you make the top of your class. Make me proud".

That's something I can't promise. "I promise".

Grace looks up at me with those big, beautiful eyes. When her lips meet mine, I get this warm feeling. In that moment I know that I have to make the right choice, for me and for her. It's just so fucking difficult.

So many of you were writing comments saying things along: "OMFG TESSA YOUNG", "AFTER", "HOLY SHIT AFTER JHTHORHSDG" -- and I was like wtf is this about. I haven't read the "After" series, so this was not intentional. But, yeah, wicked cool swag. Cool, it's being made into a movie and shit, and that's so insane! But, yeah I had no idea what a Tessa Young was, but I know now. I'm so unhip.

A cutie has started to translate this story into Spanish, which is super cool. If you want to you can go read in here: http://www.wattpad.com/63650402-marcel-spanish-h-s-marcel

shagniall✌