Twisted Donuts

Twisted Donut's Part 1

"27 A, 27 A, 27 A..." I repeated to myself while stumbling through the aisle as my overly packed carry on smacked into each aisle seat, eventually hitting a few innocent passengers in the shoulders. "A-ha! 27 A..." I turned to the left swiftly, again my big ass bag smacking another unsuspecting passenger. "Sorry," I said while raising my hand to gesture along with my apology. I threw my bag into the overhead compartment and looked into my row to see an exceptionally large older gentleman wheezing with his chin nuzzled into his chest. Ugh, looks like peeing during the flight is going to be a task and half.

"Umm... Excuse me, sir. That's my seat." - I said shyly while pointing to the window. My voice startled him causing his arms to flail to the sides.

"Oh, this one?" - He said as if I was lying or just a great inconvenience for him because now he has to move. He reached down, unlatching the seat belt, lifting the arm rests up and slithered out in a not so graceful manner. I took a few steps back giving him a enough room to move. I bashfully made eye contact with him and smiled. I slowly slid across the seats, stopping mid way to lift his arm rest up. Why is his seat so warm? I jumped directly into my favorite window seat.

I let out a soft sigh of relief and slowly opened the window and lost myself in a train of thought. Consistently, I pick 27 A or F, whichever window seat is behind the wing. It gives me some sort of comfort before take off and landing, watching the extra wings extend out to adjust the speed of the plane. I glared at the wing for solace, picking it apart and giving my analysis of safety and cleanliness. This wing looks safe and I'm sure everything...

Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted as to what felt like a brillo pad being rubbed across my arm in my short sleeve shirt. What the hell! I internally screamed, my head whipped to the left with utter disgust, as if the devil just came to take my soul. I glared him up and down as his antics further annoy me while gets back into his seat adjusting himself. His brillo pad arms continued to graze my arm, as he searched for his seat belt. I pushed my body as far back to wall as it could go, taking a deep breath reminding myself it's not the brillo pads, it's just your OCD. I turned my body away from him and uncomfortably leaned forward between my legs to place my purse under the seat in front of me, but my head still smacks into the tray table.

"Phone, headphones, water, check!" - I mumbled under my breath, so no one would hear.

I glance out the window asI untangle the cord to my headphones and place them into each ear. I searched my phone for Deadpool and hit play, staring at the blank tv screen in front of me losing myself in another train of thought.

I think I'm finally ready to escape and let myself go for the next two weeks. Not that things are that bad. I personally think that my home life is wonderful. I live with an honorable man that I've been dating for 3 years. We have a quaint studio apartment in Manhattan, with Lugo our pet betta fish. But lately, things have become a little dull and uneventful.

And this is why it was perfect timing for my best friend Jenna to get engaged. I had the perfect excuse to leave and go back home without William tagging along. Not that I don't want him to travel with me. it's just that he becomes a little clingy and I don't always feel like I can be my true idiotic and funny self when he is around. He side eyes me whenever I make an unhinged remark or tell perverted jokes. Just because I'm a lady with a vagina, doesn't mean I can't tell a good penis joke.

How do you get Dick from Richard?.... You ask him nicely.

I laughed internally and slapped my knee, it gets me every time.

It's almost like I have to put on this idealistic concept of, I'm a mature adult, in a mature adult relationship and we only talk mature adult things. But fuck... I'm 25 years old, I'm young and deserve to have some time alone. Thank you Jenna and thank you Justin, you stupid bastard, for stealing my friend away, but for also finally getting the balls to propose and make her the happiest woman.