you're not alone, you're with me *~being edited~*

chapter seventeen

I don't remember how long we were standing in my doorway but once I stopped crying, we went into my room before the cats got out. Austin forgot to pick up the flowers so I made a mental note to pick them up later. My smallest cat, Coffee, has been known to get out so I scooped him up before shutting him in my room with Austin and I. The other cat, Whiskey who is much larger than Coffee, was already in my room and laying on my laptop. His long dark brown tail twitched back and forth in content and his piercing green eyes landed on Austin and I as we entered the room.

"Hello Whiskey.. Don't mind him, he's a friend." I smiled to the old cat, who seemed to understand and closed his eyes again. Austin must've thought I was crazy for talking to my cat but I wasn't bothered by it in the slightest. My cats were my friends whenever I was alone. They never said much back but they always knew when I was upset or depressed because they would approach me, meowing and rubbing their heads against my legs. But they'e never met Austin before, let alone they've never seen anyone over besides Frank, so there was no doubt they were suspicious.

"Here Austin, do you want to hold Coffee for a while so he can calm down a bit?" I offered the 7 month old kitten to Austin with a smile. He nodded and took the kitten, carefully wrapping his muscular arms around Coffee's stomach. Coffee seemed to calm down but his ears were still pressed against his head in fear. His cloudy blue eyes were streched wide but once Austin started petting his back, he let his eyelids relax. Who knew such an intimidating boy could calm down a nervous kitten?

"He's really cute... And warm.." Austin looked at me then smiled "I think I'm going to keep him."

"Aw hell no buddy, he's mine." I protested and pet Coffee's light brown head "Isn't that right Coffee? You're all mine." He meowed softly in reply. Austin shook his head then let out a soft chuckle.

"I guess he likes you better."

"Give it time, he'll warm up to you."

We fell silent after that so I decided to turn on some music, My Chemical Romance to be exact, and Austin's face lit up with excitement.

"Is this Black Parade?"

"Uh-huh."

"You should put on House of Wolves. I adore that song."

I nodded in agreement and changed the song to House of Wolves then turned the volume up on my speaker so that it was softly playing. Coffee soon fell asleep in Austin's arms so I scooped him up and set him next to Whiskey. They were family after all. Whiskey's whiskers twitched but he shifted so there was room for Coffee to snooze next to him. Their two shades of brown went well together as they both fell asleep on my laptop. Probably bad for it but I could care less. My cats were worth more than some silly laptop.

"Now I'm all covered in cat fur.." Austin frowned but that changed to a smile once I sat on my bed. "Oh boo hoo for you. Why are you here anyways?" I raised an eyebrow suspiciously and bit on my piercing in my mouth. The warm metal against my teeth usually relaxed me when I'm upset but I wasn't really upset right now. More content than depressed.

"Well I-I..." He scratched his neck quickly then dropped his arm to his side "I was worried about.. y-you." his voice dropped to a whisper and then his eyes fell to the floor. I felt my face turn red with embarressment so I turned away from him and let my hair fall in front of my face. Why was he worried about me? I pretended to be ill so I could get away from him. Maybe he saw through my lies.

"I felt that I've been.."

"Felt what? W-what did you feel?" I managed to speak up quietly then look at him in the eyes. They were filled with all kinds of cofusion, fear, worry, sadness, hopelessness, all these emotions were held in his eyes and he looked ready to cry. But why? What was he so worked up about?

"I've been feeling... like I've been using.. you." he finally admitted with a sad smile stretched across his lips. That kinda suprised me. I didn't feel like he was using me in the slightest but I did feel like our feelings weren't mutual. Maybe he has been using me but I was too caught up in the overall feeling of being accepted by someone. He never treated me like shit once, never forced me into anything I didn't want to do, but never told anyone about us. Almost like a boyfriend. Except, he wasn't my boyfriend. Austin and I are just... from different worlds.

"I'm sorry." he finally sat down next to me and held his face in his hands. The dozens of tattoos on his arms hugged his biceps neatly but I had to resist myself from saying anything. "I'm so sorry Ethan I should've never... I should've never said anything to you.." his words spilled out of his mouth rather quickly, almost regretting every single one. But I kept quiet.

I wasn't nervous or anxious or even sad. Just the thought of someone as great as Austin being in the same room with me made me happy. Actually having him sit next to me, made me beyond happy. But just as I was about to say something, Austin looked right at me with a blank face.

"You probably hate me." he declared then laughed dryly. I shook my head and brought my hands up to my face, covering my flushed cheeks.

"Of course not Austin... I-i.." My face turned even redder once Austin moved closer to me, closing the small gap between our hips. "I-I-I.. T-There's no way I can...." Suddenly I felt very nervous and the butterflies started fluttering in my stomach with a mighty rage. "H-Hate you.."

The sad look in Austin's eyes was replaced with his usual happiness. He was even smiling normally again. Why though? What was I doing that made him so calm?

"There's the Ethan I know." He said softly then slowly leaned in until our faces were a few inches apart. I felt extremely nervous so I tried to cover my face more by tilting my head down but Austin held my red face in place. My hands slowly dropped away from my face and I gave in. There's no point in being awkward now, is there? If he was able to with stand me for this long, there really was no point. I let my body relax. If I just relax, Austin will relax.

"Hey, are you alright?" he asked me after a few minutes of quiet but I wasn't sure how to answer it.

"I'm only alright when I'm around you." I practically whispered before looking away from his kind eyes and smile. His hands were still cupped around my face so he turned me to face him. "What was that?" he asked. "N-nothing.. Just promise me o-one thing." I spoke up. He tilted his head slightly, mimicking a cat almost.

"What is it?"

"...Promise y-you'll never leave m-me.."

"I thought I already promised that?" he raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Y-yeah but... This is different." I bite my lower lip and looked directly into his kind eyes "You have t-to promise to never leave me.."

"Alright, alright. I promise I'll never leave you." he leaned forward to close the gap between our lips with a soft kiss. I let myself relax almost instantly. The touch of his lips against mine made my heart swell. Before I could kiss back though, Austin pulled away and smiled at me.

"I should get going." he said with a giggle then stood up, still cupping my face in his hands. I stuck out my bottom lip in a pout and looked up at him through my pink bangs.

"W-why?" I nearly whimpered.

"Because you said you weren't feelin-"

"Oh s-shush up." I interrupted by standing up to kiss him again. He kissed back almost instantly and dropped his hands away from my cheeks, wrapping them around my waist. I, being a nervous awkward bottom loser, blushed million shades of red and pink as we continued our loving kiss into a makeout session. My heart raced with happiness and excitement. I'm not sure why though. We still weren't dating or anything. But he made me feel so special. So loved.

I no longer felt alone. I felt wanted for once in my life.