harlem: yeah ok sure lets update lmao im gunna skip? til the end of the day? makin' his way downtown, walking fast, with pierce the veil and austin? *piano playing in the background softly*
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I stood by my locker looking at the gray, chipped metal up and down before sighing loudly and resting my head against it. What the hell am i going to do with this... crush of mine? For the rest of the entire day he was all i could think of. I closed my eyes slowly and clenched my fist tightly. Luckily, nobody was around to witness what i was about to do next. Needless to say i slammed my fist into the locker next to mine repeatedly until i felt blood drip down my knuckles. The sight of the bright red substance kicked in my adrenaline and i felt my heart beat faster but i took a deep breath, calming myself down slightly.
"H-h-hey... y-you alright..?" i heard a soft voice come behind me and i nearly jumped out of my skin.
At first i thought it was Mae or Jaime due to the girly tone but when i turned around slowly, it was Austin standing behind me with a concerned look stretched across his face. I turned back around struggling to open up my locker when Austin pulled on my shoulder, turning me back around (once again)
"Why the hell were you doing that?" He demanded as he grabbed my wrist suddenly and pulled my bloody hand up to our faces. The blood has dripped all the way down my arm and had been dripping on the floor leaving a small puddle between our feet. Although i was weak as hell and passed out easily, i've never passed out due to the sight of blood. Actually it calmed me down quite a bit whenever i was stressed out by something.
"Answer me goddamnit! Why did you punch the locker?" Austin yelled considering everyone had left school so his loud voice echoed throughout the hallway. I looked into his eyes seeing nothing but worry and broke eye contact by moving my hair over my face to hide my blush. How do i explain to someone i just met i had a horrible, horrible day and i wanted nothing more than to kill myself right now? Not only was he super adorable but he was so kind to me i felt like i had finally made a friend
"Ethan..." His voice pulled me back into reality with a quieter voice but i stared down at the puddle of blood in between us. Austin's grip on my wrist was looser but he didn't quite let go all the way. My face felt flushed so i pulled my hand away swiftly before turning back to my locker, finally opening it.
"I-i'm fine" i said sternly and shoved my backpack in it forcefully slamming it loudly. I felt a lump in my throat as tears swell up in my eyes and i bit my lip softly
"Ethan then why is your hand all busted to shit?" His tone changed from worried sick to demanding everything. I shook my head and tried to walk away from him but he grabbed me by the shoulder, causing me to stop walking. All my emotions floated around my head suddenly. The last thing i wanted is to have Austin see me cry. Don't fucking cry Ethan, don't fucking do it.
"I-i'm fine really i-i.." my voice trailed off when i felt my tears slip down my cheeks slowly, using all the energy and power i had left to hold back anything else embarrassing. Austin moved in front of me slowly and lifted up my chin, looking into his pain-filled eyes once again. I tried to wipe away my tears but i gave up on the thought because i have had enough of today, i just wanted to give up. Fall asleep tonight never to wake up again. Drive away from this horrid town until i was miles and miles away. I just wanted to escape this cold, cruel world and live the life i've dreamt of when i was younger.
"Hey," Austin whispered to me "You're going to be alright Ethan. I promise. Although we just met, i felt something.. special about you." He smiled weakly and his eyes seemed to perk up with hopefulness. "I felt as if we had known each other for such a long time, as if we were married.." his soft chuckle made me smile a little bit as my tears slowly stopped "There's something special between us Ethan.. I have no idea what, but there is something very special. Whatever it is that made you want to hurt yourself like that, i hope you never feel that way again. Don't let it happen so easily, take control!" Austin sounded excited suddenly and he held my face in his hands, making me blush a million shades red. "I know we just met but fuck Ethan, i think you're wonderful and amazing" he finished with a smile on his face and leaned down to kiss my cheek but stopped himself. I gazed at him hopefully, silently praying he would kiss my cheek and wipe my tear stained face, but held myself back from asking such a stupid thing.
"A-Austin.. i-i.... i-i feel.. the same.." i said softly
"R-really? T-that's a first..." he let out a louder chuckle this time and let go of my face, holding his arms behind his back nervously. I sighed as i wiped my face with my sweaty hands and held my shirt nervously. He actually felt the same for me as i did for him? That felt... so.. different. Never in my life have i had a guy feel the same. So i wasn't sure what to do. Do i hug him? Do i give him a high five? Leave it as it is? Walk away awkwardly? So many choices.. I felt my hand start to sting as i rubbed it against my shirt and i flinched slightly. Austin took my hand gently and rubbed my swollen knuckle with his thumb before kissing it so softly it felt like a butterfly landing on me.
"Let's um... go to my house and bandage you up, shall we?" he offered nervously, i felt his hand shaking as he held it tighter. I thought about it for a split second then nodded quickly
"We shall" i answered happily and smiled at him widely. Going to my house meant dealing with my parents who probably got the phone calls home about me throwing up, planning the next thing to take away from me. So we walked down the hallway in silence although in my mind i secretly wished he had kissed my cheek like a butterfly would if it had landed on my cheek..
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harlem: im obsessed with the butterfly thing? idk i think they are just adorable for little stressed out Ethan.. josh peck is frickin'- oooh i need sleep. until next time ~harlem
YOU ARE READING
you're not alone, you're with me *~being edited~*
FanfictionAwkward, clearly emo boy Ethan has to learn to survive high school on his own. Approached by bullies, friendly strangers and teens with tattoos has never seemed so scary.
