I Can Only Wish

My world changed

That morning, i woke up from the sun shining through the window, disturbing me. I couldn't get back to sleep so i got up.

As i walked out, i heard my step mum say something briefly to Jack and Melissa about ghosts.

"It"s so bright" I said as I walked outside to join them. I sat on the couch for a bit and patted the dog.

I came inside to get breakfast and as i walked back out, Jack and Melissa were leaving. As soon as they walked inside, my heart shattered a little. I felt like something was missing.

I did some investigating on Facebook and found him. He accepted my request and i felt a little bit of hope again. I felt like someone i cared about, cared for me.

A couple of days went by and I was down. I just sat in my room most days, watching movies. One night i texted him while i was playing xbox. He was doing the same but he was having an early night since he had to go to work the next day.

We texted each other for a few days. He made me happy, he made me feel like I had hope again and he made me feel love. It was a bit hard to chat since he was working night shift but we talked when he had his breaks.We were joking around, sending each other jokes and stuff. It was all fun and games.

It was New Years and i was partying a bit hard. I was messaging him but i don't remember it. I didn't make it to midnight but i briefly remember waking up at quater past 12 and texting him. We talked but then I fell asleep so he didnt answer.

We talked for a few days and that was  when I knew I shouldn't have opened up to him. I told him about some stuff that was going on in my life and he was giving me lots of advice. The week had gone so fast that next time i knew, he was back home.

We invited them around to have a small get together. I tried avoiding him as much as possible because it felt awkward. When we did talk it was never one on one. 

That night, i struggled so bad. I couldn't avoid him forever. Everytime he looked at me or talked to me, my heart would skip several beats. It made me physically sick to my stomach knowing that I have fallen in love with someone i can't have.

They had left about 11pm, so i went to bed thinking about him, fantasizing about him, fantasizing about him staying the night and when i was a mess, he would comfort me. All of a sudden i would snap out of it and come back to reality.

A few days later he had gone back to work. I felt emptt again. I had texted my mom that night saying i was expecting a package.

"I may not get it. Dealing with family stuff." She texted back.

At that very moment, my heart skipped a major beat. My mom's aunty (Robyn) was in hospice and was dying from melanoma.

"Is everything okay?" I sent back.

"Robyn is in her last few days" she replies.

I was worried. That night i couldn't sleep. I was on the phone with my cousin until 2am, talking about some things that no one else understands in my family. I finally got to sleep, even though it was extremely hard.

It was about 7am, i woke up. I checked my phone like i usually do, when my heart stopped for a second.

Mom:

"Robyn passed away early this morning"

I tried to ignore it for a while. I opened up Snapchat and did my streaks like every other morning. I told my step mom that i had to go back for a few days.

Dad drove me back home two days later. I thought it was going to be a quick goodbye, stay home a few days then come back here but little did i know that my world changed.

I hope you enjoyed this. Please let me know what you think of it in tge comments. Thanks :)