Amidala

Night Terrors

His laugh fills the air and makes my heart swell. I watch as his head reels back, his shoulders heave as his voice escapes from him in joyful bursts. My head swims in his voice, in his being, in him. He smiles at me, and I realize that I recognize his face.

"Anakin," I breathe, a smile stretching across my face.

"I love you, Padme," he says, taking my hand in his own.

He leans over to kiss me, and my heart beats quickly, wishing, willing his lips to meet mine. I'm filled with excitement, with happiness, almost giddy in the quiet meadow where we sit, far away from the Senate, from the Jedi Order. Here, in this one moment where we can be here, together forever.

His arms tighten around me, and I feel safe, I feel home. My eyelashes flutter closed as his lips brush against mine, and the whole world falls away.

And then, it actually falls away.

I scream, clinging to his arm for dear life, Rush Clovis clutching the other. Together, we dangle off the edge of a building, surrounded by  blaster fire and explosions.

"I can't hold both of you," Anakin grunts, pulling us upwards with all his might.

I watch as the fire disappears from Clovis' eyes, and he opens his mouth to speak. I shout in protest, but it is already too late. I watch as he falls several stories to his death. Anakin sighs as he pulls me up to join him in safety, and I resign myself to a crying mess on his chest.

oOo

I awake to the sound of his cries, a childlike whimper coming from his room. He's having another nightmare. I roll over onto my side, and watch as he opens his door and stumbles down the hall towards the balcony. He twists his fingers into his hair, and bites his lip, his shoulders heaving.

I shouldn't get involved. This is his problem to deal with. And I'm so tired. I could stay here and rest some more.

I lie there, on my back, tossing and turning in thought. On the one hand, he is my friend, and I care about him. On the other, he wants to be my lover, and if I show him that I care, he may take that opportunity to do something stupid.

"Ugh," I grumble to myself as I pull myself out from under the sheets. The sun is about to rise anyway, and I can't sleep with this on my mind. I follow him, quietly moving through the hall.

He stands on the center of the balcony, his hands clasped behind his back, his shoulders back, and his eyes closed. His breaths come in evenly, and he looks almost serene. He looks... Tranquil. I shouldn't bother him. I turn to go.

"Don't go," he says, making me stop dead in my tracks. A shiver comes over me, as I take a deep breath.

"I don't want to disturb you," I explain, turning around.

He takes a deep breath, as if he's breathing in my scent. "Your presence is soothing."

I watch him, as he shifts his stance, less rigid, and more comfortable.

"You had another nightmare last night," I say.

"Jedi don't have nightmares," he protests.

"I heard you."

He stays silent, for a moment, contemplating whether or not he should tell me what he dreamt. "I saw my mother," he says. "She is suffering, Padmé." He turns to face me now, his breaths coming quicker and quicker as he begins to panic. "I saw her as clearly as I see you now. She is in pain," he nearly sobs, turning away from me. "I know I'm disobeying my mandate to protect you, senator, but I have to go. I have to help her!"