The Life of a Vader

The Vader Way

               In a Galaxy far far away a Sith Lord is......... Trimming his excellent plants with StarPliers. What you thought he was destroying the world or something? Pfffffft you got all wrong. You see George Lucas was a massive idiot. He thought the "dark side" was fighting for "order". But really were the Resistance. They are the ones that want order restored to the Galaxy. So now Reader do you understand why this,this Sith Lord was trimming his plants with his brand new StarPliers? Yes the stinking Luke Skywalker with his stinking 5th grade body odor lies. Hes just never satisfied. But back to the Sith Lord trimming his plants. He trims them with perfection. Using the so called "dark side" of the force to clip off stray branches. Finally, someone rushes into the gleaming room. Ah, reader now here comes the time I have dreaded for so long. Describing the Sith Lord. He looks up, his back straight as a SharmaPole. He Huff's and puffs running on chugging machinery. He speaks in a inhumanely deep voice. "What do you want I'm trying to trim my Starmanday." The tiny servant speaks in a matching tiny voice" My master, the Fisrt Rebel Order is attacking should I send for your ship?" The Sith stands up from his Starmanday trimming and starts to slowly pace the room. As he does he speaks again in that tremendously deep voice "Start the engine on my ship. Time to clear out that First Rebel scum." The servant scurries off to the docking port to inform the mechanics. His boots pounding he follows the scurrying servant to the port. He passes arrays of rooms and nods to Stormtroopers in their gleaming white armor. They call out getting in their formations to prepare for the assault. The Sith Lord gives approval to standing by pilots as well. Finally he reaches the ship. Its rugged outline describes the Millennium Falcon. But this Sith likes to call it the "Starmanday"after his extraordinary plants. He climbs into the cockpit that has enough space for 2 Wookies(Yes Wookies!). A Stormtrooper climbs in beside him his boots thumping. As the "Starmanday" starts up the Sith Lord stares at a dusty planet that he can barely make out. He chuckles " Thank you Jabba." And the Starship fly's into the deep abyss of space.