Do you ever just feel so alone that you look outside and you wonder what it'd be like if you actually had someone to hang out with? That's how I'm feeling right now. I feel alone. I feel lazy and sick. My depression hasn't eased, my mind hasn't shut off. The weather is a lovely 60 degrees today and I'm inside playing my Xbox. The door to the backyard is open and the spring breeze flows in once in a while. The birds tweets are a wonderful sound.
But I feel alone. I feel lazy. I feel like I should be outside running around enjoying the lovely opening of spring. But I have no one to hang out with. I have no ball to throw or kick around with my dog. I have no frisbee for them to catch. I have no horse outside ready to ride the day away.
I yearn to be outside and do something. But I don't like to be alone. My siblings have decided to take our dog out, but they have eachother. Now I am stuck at home to watch over my younger brother. I wish I could fall out of this emotional downfall but I feel trapped at the same time. And in that downfall I feel selfish. Self obsorbed. Lazy.
All I can think now is; I can't wait to be closer to my grandmother so I can ride and enjoy the outdoors. At least she's there to enjoy my outdoor company.
ŞİMDİ OKUDUĞUN
Notes in a Notepad
RastgeleThese are little notes that come to my head or that I write down and choose to publish for all to read :) enjoyyy
