Two Worlds || Han Jisung

18

They know who I am... they've sent me numerous messages in social media.

'Know your rightful place, btch.'

'Lay off!'

'Wow, you don't even know you're not fit for him.'

'Fame-whore'

The screen flashed, showing me each hateful messages the problem though? I could care less. They're just haters, with nothing nice to say.

You see, this is one of the moments I appreciate BTS' songs like Pied Piper or something. They don' care about haters. They know how to handle haters.

I won't let it bother me. They're just opinions and everyone has one. The only opinion that will matter is Jisung's in the end. So haters gon' hate... players gon' play....

I took my phone in my hand and pressed the power button for a good 5 seconds before the brand logo appeared and the screen turned black.

We watched the first half of the show , the.time when they showed the voting results. We jumped in joy when most of the people voted for 9 and only 4% voted for 7. Who even are they? I mean why would they even vote for 7?!

The show went on and soon all 9 members were on stage dancing again. Thus felt more like a team. Minho-oppa's confidence level soar up! I could really feel his confidence radiating off stage! His stage presence along with Felix is stronger! Felix's korean sounded normal this time. It sounded like he's a native speaker. We could really see the effort they placed in into improving themselves.

After all their performances on stage, Minho-oppa and Felix stood in the center of the stage, it was time to hear the results from JYP himself. The members looked nervous.

I held hands with Mari and Aeri, praying for 9 members.

JYP continued "Congratulations..... you will be debuting as 9...." whatever he said after that was all blurred out in my mind because the girls and I were busy cheering and jumping around. Even my mom did jump on the couch.

I sat back down, feeling the familiar pain in my chest whenever I tire myself out. I clutched my shirt and controlled my breathing. My mom was quick to catch on, she gave me a glass of water and some tablets I could easily recognize.

"My goodness. Don't tire yourself." She scolded me.

Two hours passed... i'm still waiting for Jisung's call. I tried calling and messaging him earlier but he wasn't responding. I tried looking for explanations in my head, maybe the boys are celebrating.... or maybe there are staffs everywhere, he couldn't reply to my messages....... yeah.... maybe i'm right...

I told myself not to open any social media, but you know, in moments of success, especially my boyfriend's, U couldn't help but check on some articles. In facebook for example, see? Soompi already has an article..... My smile turned to a frown.....

As soon as I checked on my account... notificatiins of messages of hate....

'Hahaha, does she still think they're on the same level? Jisung-oppa is way higher, you don't deserve him.' Ouch....

Enough reading.... hate..... because.... I might really start to believe them..

Waiting a few more hours... was a futile effort because he never did call for the night.....

~~~ The day of the wedding

Jisung came, the boys came... this is the first time i'm seeing him again since they succeeded in the survival. He said he was always busy, recording, ppracticing filming and whatever reasons... we just texted each other, no calls, just texts...

I missed him so much that when the boys came in the room to change into their tuxedos, I went up to him and gave him a hug... "I missed you....."

He didn't return the warmth though.... maybe he's just tired... "Yeah.... the boys and I will change now.... can you step out for now?" He asked me, pushing me back slightly.

I looked directly in his eyes, he didn't even look back....

Maybe his fans were right......... We really aren't on the same level anymore, he's way above me now.... "y-yeah s-sure....." I bowed to everyone, working hard and pouring more effort in making my smile look real and natural........ even though, i could feel that my lids were heavy with unshed tears.... "I'll see you guys later." I could feel my chest tighten.

Everyone gathered inside the church, the boys including  me and my friends went in to our designated seats. We were supposed to march down the isle but the plan changed, its just gonna be my mom marching down. My father was already in the altar...

I sat beside Jisung.... but I didn't start any conversation nor did i initiate any contact.... I could feel it, he wants me away from him.... but why? Why would he want that?........... Did I do something wrong?.... maybe I did...

I could feel the familiar pain in my chest.... not now.... not in my mom's happiest day.... And so, I held it in, I can bare the pain, its nothing new....

The pianist started playing the wedding march just as the doors opened revealing my mother in her beautiful white dress. She smiled happily....

She reached the altar, giving my father her best smile...

They started to recite their vows. But I couldn't hear anything.... my mind started shouting the hate comments and messages I read a while back at me...... "Excuse me, i..... I n-need to go to the...... t-t-toilet..." I stuttered, pushing past Jisung and running out to the car, looking for the bag I brought with me, containing medications.

I started gasping for air..... the flashbacks.... 'Bitch, stop ruining someone's career!'

'Attention whore you are!'

'I hope you drown in bleach...'

My ears started buzzing..... my vision blurry.... I reached the car and immediately got in. I dropped in the car seat gasping  for air.

I could faintly see the car door open.... and a guy coming in and rummaging through my white bag..... He took something in there and immediately administered it to me.... I could faintly taste something bitter...

The door opened again and a guy with brown hair parted in the middle came in..... Jisung...