It appears to me that as I get older, I find myself wanting to escape company. When I was younger (around middle school & high highschool) I remember always being surrounded by people, I used to be a social butterfly and I used to find myself confiding my most dearest secrets to anyone who called themselves my "friends". I trusted those people to the extent of giving them the tools to hurt me. I told them my fears, my weaknesses, my flaws... my all. I graduated high school and with that stage of my life gone so were my "friends".
For years I attempted to keep the relationships growing only to find out that I was the one doing all the effort. Me and my so called friends grew apart to point of not talking to each other for years. After that came a new stage called College, I started focusing more in my grades and less and less on my social life. I stoped going out, staying for most part in between the four walls of my room.Years went by and I found myself uncomfortable at the thought of socializing with I still have today. The thought of trying to care for a person that would not care for you in the same way was repulsive.I have this philosophy... If the person does not have any positive contribution to your life other than a night of drinking and partying, I am not interested.
I wonder if you guys can relate to that philosophy?
I have grown tired of empty relationships and feeling like I got everybody's back but in the end nobody's got mine and wasting my time with empty people is not an option and I won't have it.But I want to be completely honest with you... Sometimes I felt pretty lonely. Sometimes I wished I had a true friend... someone who would be there unconditionally. But I found so hard to let myself trust somebody with all of me just so they can let me fall into pieces.I guess that I am too selective... or maybe I am so dammed scared that I will get hurt again...
That was until recently...
I've come to realize that I am not completely alone. You see, I have been the luckiest woman in the world and life has blessed me with the man that I call my husband today. He is there for me always and has never let me down even though I have not been necessarily the best wife ever. His love for me has proven to be unconditional... I guess that I can say that I have at least on true best friend.
My life is not so lonely after all... ☺️
KAMU SEDANG MEMBACA
The Cycles of the Unstable
Cerita PendekDear reader, Although it may not seem so in here, I am happy and I am grateful for my life. And in spite of everything negative that happens in my mind I still follow my course and each day I conquer most of my inner battles. But even so my mind run...
