London

55 - "Fight."

Alex stays quiet on the other end of the line, and just as am about to withdraw my offer feeling like a fool because she made clear where she stands, she agrees.

"Where did you had in mind?"

"Somewhere near the train station," I say quick, feeling my heartbeat rise to a maximum.

"Which one?"

As we talk details, I can't contain myself and feel butterflies erupt at the thought of seeing her again so soon. She once asked why I didn't fight for her, but now I am glad that I waited. I felt it when I stayed at my mother's alone that things needed to happen the way they did, and now I am certain. Alex and I need to start fresh and time will tell if fighting for her has any point at all. Right now, I feel hopeful it will.

I watch trains come and go from a bench, the station growing busier as lunch time comes around. Back in the day when we just came back from Palas the first time, we actually spent a lot of time on the train station near her house, different than this one. We fought there multiple times if I arrived late, letting my job get in the way as per fucking usual. But most of our reunions were filled with kisses and hugs. I doubt this one will be like that although I can't deny the fire in my body when I think of our last kiss. It might have been our best one ever, and now that I know I'll see her again, I can only hope it won't be our last.

An hour later I finally spot the train she texted she was on and get up to move to the right track. Once I'm there she's already out, waiting by the exit to go to the undergrounds. Her appearance takes me by surprise just like last time. She seems relax even when she isn't and I realize it is the fact that she's comfortable in her own skin again. Something I haven't been blessed with seeing a lot in her.

Alex smiles when I approach her, making me feel nervous for how to greet her. In the end I decide on just stopping in front of her. 

"Hey," she says. "That's all your luggage?" 

She looks to my duffel bag that is hung over my shoulder. "Travel light is my motto."

"What about all those boxes I so carefully packed?"

"They're at my sisters. She's got plenty of room in Manchester. Got my own room there now. Who would have thought," I laugh.

"I liked your sister. She seems happy," Alex says and I can only agree with her now that I have spent a few weeks with her. "She forgave Ben which is admirable. They seemed very much in love, still."

"Trust me, they are. To point where it sickness me."

"I'm just glad that after all they've been through, they still can be happy together," she tells me and the way she says it gives me more hope than I should read in to. 

"Me too."

"So, did you settle on a place? I'm hungry."

We smile for a moment and then I guide her to the lunch place that I found on my phone whilst I was waiting for her. The duffel bag is heavy on my shoulder because of my tattoo set and clothes so I'm glad when we reach it. It is busy, but we soon find a table in the middle of the room surrounded by people. I can tell that it comforts her to not be alone with me, I don't like it as much. I wish we could be alone, even for a second. Last time we were in a busy café together, it didn't end well. 

After looking through the menu, deciding what we want to order, there falls a silence that shows that neither of us really thought this meeting through.

"You're father probably didn't expect us to be here five years later," I start off and her smile falters for a second. 

Her love for Bob is so different than what I ever experienced with my mother. Even after five years she feels pain over losing him, while I even a week later feel totally okay discussing her. I know there will be things in the future that will upset me. Things she won't see or be there for, but I know I'll be okay even if it is painful.