Equilibrium (Reylo)

Ten: All That The Light Touches

"Spill."

Ren rolled his eyes, expecting nothing less than for her to pressure him into talking. And because Ren didn't feel like arguing after the nightmare he went through, he'd rather just. . .talk about it. . .with her.

Rey and Ren found themselves siting on her cot again when he just eased himself into it. "I was back at the Jedi academy, reliving the worst part of it," he paused, running a hand through his ruffled hair. "Pfft, the whole experience was the worst part. Ever since I got there. . ."

Rey lifted a brow in curiosity, not expecting for him to have a nightmare about that. On the other hand, she was kinda glad the subject moved away from her and his father like she was expecting to hear. Rey just couldn't quite understand how because of one night, his feelings were influenced for his whole childhood experience.

Yes, he may have been betrayed by his uncle whom tired to killed him and that itself could lead to his trauma. But there was more to his childhood before that one life-defining moment. That was what she wanted to figure out.

"How bad could it've been?" she wondered. "You got to learn the ways of the Jedi. You got to learn how to properly use the Force."

"You think I'm lucky," he said more as a question. "Please, you're too much of a Youngling to these things."

Once again he calls me one of those names. Padawan. Youngling. What do they mean? Maybe they have to do with being a Jedi?

"I don't know if that's an insult?"

He intertwined his hands together and shrugged. "Only if you take it the wrong way."

Rey rolled her eyes and made a hand motion to let him know he could continue.

Ren looked at her as if he weren't serious about what he was talking about. He knew more about the Jedi than her. She didn't have the place to question his judgement. "Everyday at the academy, training to be a part of the Jedi. . .it wasn't all some memorable experience you were exactly enthusiastic to share with your kids," he explained, before he let out a scoff. "As if you could have kids to tell those stories to."

Rey blinked, not quite catching that last part. "What do you mean?"

Ren hunched forward, staring off into a spot on the ground. "Jedi are forbidden to marry," he broke it to her, "forbidden to have children as well."

Confused, Rey shook her head. "Why?"

"They're forbidden to have any. . ." Ren paused, gazing into her hazel eyes he's seen many times before, but this time they're a tint of green that reflected her curiosity growing. ". . .attachments."

"Well," Rey said, shaking her head, "that's absurd."

He shrugged again and averted his gaze from her eyes back to the ground. "I believe that's what my grandfather thought as well."

For a short moment, Rey rehashed her memories about her childhood. Yet, there was so much downfall that she simply wished for a better one. To have a better experience at life. She wished for a family—which Ben had. She wished for someone to care about her—which Ben had. She wished she could have had a better home, a better life, at least an opportunity at doing something greater than herself. The chance to be a part of who she was meant to be. Unlike Ben, she will never get to prove her true identity amongst the Jedi race. She never got to learn about them expect from what she was told or read about from Skywalker's journals. That was something she hadn't yet stumbled upon.