Abigail

Analynne

 I did open my eyes, right?

Darkness sits on my face like a wet dog, smothering me. I blink, hard, harder. Squeeze my eyes shut. Open them again, hoping, begging for a burst of light.

Nothing.

I'm inhabiting the life of a blind girl, I realize.

I am terrified of this horrible darkness. Memories surface - Analynne wasn't always this way. A freak accident in school four years ago tore her sight away, along with the life of another student. Horrible.

Fortunately, Analynne's body knows what to do. I'm surprised by the grace with which I am able to stand. A mental image of Ana's room floats into my mind, and I slowly make my way to where the dresser should be.

I hear the door burst open, and a female voice charges into my dark space. "Ana! OMG, An, you won't believe what Joey just told me." Ana's twin sister, Sofie, grows in volume, and assume that she's moved closer to me. An image pops into my head of a tiny redhead teen waving around a teal-cased cell phone.

"What, Sofie?" I ask, feeling through the drawers for something to wear. Even my fingers know how to fill in the blank space of this life.

"You know Casey? Casey Smith? Joey's ex-girlfriend, right? He just texted me, freaking out. Casey is preggers! Can you believe that?!"

I close my eyes. So it's done.

I only revealed one of Casey's secrets, but it was only to one person: Joey Cannik. A look through their texts revealed that, despite their breakup, they still shared deep things with each other. So I'd sent him a message, as Casey. Joey, I have to tell you... I'm pregnant. Kirk's baby, of course. And...I'm going to get an abortion.

His response was simple: ?!

Then there was silence for the rest of the day. I put the box back under her bed and played some of the games on Casey's computer for the rest of the day, surprised to find a true gamer girl hiding inside her.

I open my eyes again. "And he told you that? You'd think he'd keep it to himself. Everyone knows that he and Casey still trade secrets like drugs."

"Yeah, but Joey tells me a lot. I mean, he doesn't, like, share all of her secrets with me, of course, but he said he had to get this off his chest. I won't tell anybody else, don't worry." Sofie's voice is suddenly distant. "Breakfast is almost ready, by the way."

I take a deep breath. It's always strange, to see the consequences of the choices I make with my girls. Sometimes I'm proud of what I've done. Other times, not so much. It's probably as close as I can get to making real life choices, seeing as I don't have a real life.

Being blind is depressing, but...refreshing, in a way. I can hear everything, smell everything, feel everything. It's startling, almost overwhelming. I'm relieved to learn the Ana is homeschooled - I certainly wouldn't want to try navigating a crowded hallway in total darkness.

I realize something as I'm sitting outside, feeling the warm sun on my face - Casey and Ana went to the same school. I haven't traveled very far between bodies. I don't think I've ever experienced that before, apart from the best friend incident. What does it mean, if anything?