Killer Love: Sons Of Anarchy

Normal Day

"Maybe embarrassment?" I told him as I pulled on a black v neck shirt.

"We were better friends than we were a couple." I told him. Jax watched me intently hanging on to every word that I was saying. It was the complete opposite of what he was doing yesterday.

"We had just about called it quits when he met this girl. She was perfect for him and I could tell in his eyes that she turned his whole world. I was never that for him and he was never that for me." I said to him, I walked over to Jax and sat down on the bed next to him.

"I'm good friends with them. They got married- I was in the wedding. They had kids and they call me their kids' aunt for god's sake." I told him with a little chuckle.

"Your god daughters?" He questioned and I nodded at him.

"They're the two friends in New York?" He asked and I gave him another nod. I could tell in his eyes that he was piecing it together.

"Yeah." I said simply.

"Is he the skeleton you have in your closet?" He asked me and I let out slow puff of air. I wasn't sure if was ready to open that door just yet. The horrors that I had personally created- the violence. That wasn't who I wanted to be anymore.

"Yes and no..." I said slowly.

"I never loved him like I loved you. He never made my world spin. I just didn't feel like that was worth talking about." I finished. He gave me a slow nod and grabbed my hand in his. He kissed the back of my hand and closed his eyes.

"I would never leave you, Jax. I'm sorry you thought that." Jax shook his head at me. His blue eyes stared into mine. He still had sorry written on his forehead.

"I shouldn't have reacted like that. I think I just couldn't understand how he did a better job at protecting you than I did." He admitted to me. That broke my heart. I never once thought he would feel that way. It explained his rage yesterday. He wasn't mad at me. He was upset with himself. My hand left his and went to his face. I held his cheeks in my hands.

"You gotta stop making that your burden alone, Jax. I can help protect myself. That's how he did it. He taught me and then trusted that I would be okay. You just gotta do the same." I told him.

"I can't lose you Charlie." He told me and I nodded at him. I knew that. I knew of the evil he was capable of if he did.

"Then you won't. I'll be more cautious. I'll start carrying my gun with me, okay?" I asked him. He pulled away from me and rubbed his face with his hands.

"I gotta be more honest with you too. I should have told you that we were on bad terms with the Irish. It's been hard for me to unlearn what not to tell you and what to tell you. Tara was so picky on when she wanted to know." He told me.

"Tell me like I'm a member." I told him. That was the easiest I could put it to him.

"I couldn't ask Alonzo what was going on for obvious reasons. I had to wait for him to tell me. I guess I was just waiting for you to do the same. This is on me too." I said.

"Yeah."He gave me a small smile before he leaned forward and kissed my lips. It was light gentle kiss but it was still more than we had done in the past week.

"We good?" I asked him and he answered with another kiss. This was longer, passionate even. His hand grabbed the back of my neck while he kissed me and my hand held his wrist.

"As long as I'm good with you." He said against my lips. I smiled and gave him another peck. Even when I was mad at him there wasn't a man in this world that I loved more than him. I left Jax alone in the room to shower and get ready for the day. Walking into the living room I saw Gemma sitting in the couch feeding Thomas while Abel was on the floor playing with his race cars.