Temptations [Niall Horan]

Chapter 12

I stared, my eyes wide as he raised his head, peering down at me. It suddenly made sense why he hadn't answered me when I spoke to him. He didn't want me to recognize his voice.

Without a word, I found myself turning to run away...But Niall caught me before I could gain any distance.

He quickly clamped his hand over my mouth to muffle my yells as he drug me back into the bushes. When he finally released me, I was ready to fight. I was ready to scream my head off.

"Please, don't freak out! Just listen to me," he begged, sorrow in his eyes. I kept my mouth shut, the shock overwhelming me.

"I'm sorry Ronnie. I'm so, so sorry. Please... please just... forgive me. For all that I've done. Ya never let me explain that night. I didn't kiss that girl, she kissed me. I will admit, I liked it at first but, when I remembered that you were there, when I realized that I might hurt you... I pushed 'er away, Ronnie. I like ya, a lot. And when ya kissed me, I... I felt something. Something I've never felt before, with anyone. When you kissed me while you were drunk, it didn't seem like... you. I liked it. But at the same time I felt awful that ya went and got yourself drunk over somethin' I did. I have feelings for ya Ronnie. And I want to show ya that I can change. That I have changed. Sure, I still drink, and party, and... and all that shit. But I'm not the way I used to be when it comes to girls. These past few weeks without you, have been shit. I feel horrible all the time, I'm sad, I'm angry, I-... I want to tell you that I'm sorry. For everything. And I hope that you can forgive me, and maybe... maybe we could go back to normal?"

I was stunned.

I was shocked.

I was afraid.

Could I forgive him again? This apology seemed genuine, and I could tell that by the look in his eyes. But honestly, I couldn't deal with it.

"I...I can't," I mumbled, turning away from him.

He stared at me, his face filled with sadness.

"Why? Why can't you? Please Ronnie. I... I just want you to know how I feel... I've been tryna say this for a long time, the longest time. But I wasn't sure if it was true... I...I can't believe I'm sayin this... I..." He struggled to find his words.

"But what Niall? I can't do this... I can't keep forgiving you," I interrupted. I stared into his ice blue eyes, turning icier with his frustration.

"What do you mean? I'm sorry this time Ronnie. How many more times do I have to say it!? Jesus Christ! Can't ya just fucking forgive me!?" He yelled, stepping towards me. Before I knew it, my wrists were in his hands, his body pinning mine against the bushes.

"No! I've done this two times already, Niall, and look where that's gotten us. You're a player... a god damn player, and I hate you!" I yelled in his face.

(A/N: Listen to the song Illuminated by Hurts while reading the rest of the chapter!)

His bottom lip disappeared behind his teeth in frustration. "Will you please just... just lemme tell ya how I feel. I... this isn't easy for me to say, Ronnie!" he said, taking a deep breath.

"What could you possibly have to say to me that would change my mind?! I'm done Niall. I told you to stay away, and I meant it! I never want to see you again-"

"Ronnie-" he interrupted.

"-and you just keep coming back! You're ruining me Niall! Ruining me! I just want to forget about you, forget about everything we ever had between us. There never was-"

"Ronnie!" he said, a bit more impatient than before. I ignored him, continuing on with my protest.

"-anything between us! Just please, leave me alone! You're around me all the time, you stalk me, you're clingy and quite frankly, it's tearing me apart! Why Niall, why the hell can't you just leave. Me. Al-"

"BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!" He shouted, grasping ahold of my arms. My mouth dropped in shock, my heart beating rapidly.

In love with me?

He only stood there, staring into my eyes as he tried to control his breathing.

"I'm... I'm in love with ya, Ronnie. You're all I think about, ever. And I've tried to show you that, but ya won't fuckin listen. Ya have everything I've ever wanted, ever needed, in a girl. You're beautiful, you're kind... you're amazing. I know it's hard to forgive me for all that I've done, but I am genuinely sorry. I know that you have feelings for me too. You have to...why can't ya just admit that?"

"I can't Niall," I mumbled, surprising myself at my sudden ability to speak again. The sorrow in his eyes returned at my response.

"Ronnie... please..."

"I can't, Niall," I cried, my voice raising.

"Why can't you!?" he begged, gripping me tighter. The tears began to build in my eyes, my heart beating faster by the second. I couldn't believe what was happening right now. He and I both knew I liked him back.

I maybe even loved him back. But I couldn't tell him that... I just couldn't.

"I just... can't," I cried, desperately trying to tear away from him.

"Tell me Ronnie! Why can't you just tell me how you-"

"Because I'm afraid! I'm afraid..." I sobbed. His eyebrows furrowed, confusion flooding his face.

"Afraid of what?" he murmured, his eyes piercing into mine.

"Afraid of loving you back," I whispered, hot tears pouring down my face. He was speechless, standing there in shock.

"Ronnie... I just... I thought what I said would be enough for you to forgive-"

"It isn't. Nothing you could ever say will ever take back what you've done to me. This is a game Niall... this is all just a game," I snapped, cutting him off. The desperation on his face grew, his fists bunching at his sides.

"I've waited a long time to feel something like this, Ron. This isn't a fuckin game, and the only way to prove that to ya now is... is if I..."

"What Niall... what could you possibly do, to make any of this better?" I spat. I waited for his response, only to be answered with silence.

"I've had enough, Niall. You're nothing... nothing but a stupid, no good, double crossing-"

Before I could finish, his lips slammed into mine, cutting me off. My eyes widened as his lips moved against mine in an urgent rush, his lids falling shut. What was going on...

What the fuck was happening.

I stood there, frozen for ages, until my eyes slowly began to fall shut.

Our lips moved together in a desperate kiss, my hands finding his neck as his lips continued to crash against mine. The sparks I felt were indescribable as he pulled me tightly against him, gasps falling from our mouths.

We pulled away a moment later, our lips mere inches from eachother.

"Ronnie, please, don't be afraid of me. I... I want you. I want to be with you..."

I said nothing, my chest heaving.

"This is new to me too... I've never felt this way, with anyone in my entire life. It's you Ronnie. It's only you. And as much as that scares me, it's the truth."

My tears continued to fall as he embraced me, his warmth consuming my body. My arms held him close, my body shaking. I was...

amazed.

Amazed at what had just happened. Niall Horan loved me. And... I was actually happy.

Unfortunately, my happiness was cut short rather quickly as I began thinking of the only thing that would keep us apart.

The only fear I had left, the only thing that could ruin what Niall and I now had was...

Becca.