The Purist / DRAMIONE (COMPLETE)

The Troublesome Twins

Hermione had decided to stay out of trouble and had been revising in the common room when Fred and George had flown off into the sunset. However, the story was retold so many times in the next few days that soon enough Hermione felt like she'd actually been there. Also, Draco had been present as a member of the Inquisitorial Squad and so he was happy to inform her of what she'd missed.

"They set up a swamp on the fifth floor of the east wing," he told her, "and it's still there. Any of the teachers could get rid of it in a trice, but none of them want to be seen helping Umbridge. Umbridge sent Filch to get the forms of approval for whipping, you see," Hermione shuddered, "and so she isn't high in their favour, and neither's Filch. Then, before they Accioed their brooms and flew away, they instructed Peeves to give Umbridge hell from them. He was all too pleased to oblige. So now Umbridge has to try and find a way to remove the swamp, and Filch has to punt people across it to lessons. It's hilarious to see him prowling around with his horsewhip, because so many people are causing trouble now."

"Didn't they fit a new door on Umbridge's office?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, they did," replied Draco, "but someone, I think it was Lee Jordan, slipped a Niffler inside. It tried to bite the rings of Umbridge's fingers."

"Good for him," Hermione said savagely in response. "She deserves all that. Did you hear how Pansy Parkinson sprouted antlers the other day? I wish I could thank the person who did that."

"You can," Draco informed her awkwardly. "It was me."

Hermione looked like she wanted to kiss him. "You don't know how happy that makes me."

"I think I can guess," was all Draco answered.

*

More rumours circulated, most likely spread by Draco, saying that Umbridge had hired a security troll to guard Harry's Firebolt, and the outbreak of Umbridge-itis was largely commented upon. Four classes had been put in detention already for fainting, vomiting, becoming fevered and sporting nosebleeds. Peeves, however, was the biggest problem. He decided to take the Weasleys at their word and give Umbridge hell. 

He upended tables, burst out of blackboards, sent statues and vases flying, shut Mrs Norris in a suit of armour twice, and all while cackling madly. He smashed lanterns and juggled flaming torches over the screaming students, dropped tarantulas in the Great Hall at breakfast time, flooded the second floor, incinerated parchment and spent hours on end blowing raspberries in Professor Umbridge's ear whenever she attempted to speak. 

Draco found it hilarious, as did Professor Snape, but both of them were outwardly the biggest Umbridge fans and therefore laughed long after the events had happened in the privacy of his godfather's quarters. As they say: he who laughs last, laughs longest.

*

Hermione, on the other hand, worried about Graham Montague. She knew he was a Slytherin, and a member of the Inquisitorial Squad to boot but, after all, that had never stopped her and Draco. He had been stuffed into the Vanishing Cabinet on the first floor and had emerged  inside a toilet on the fourth floor, having nearly lost his life attempting to Apparate out (something he hadn't obtained a licence for). Why were Harry and Ron defending Fred and George's actions? 

It's not like they could be punished any more, really. The ministry would no doubt dismiss it as a harmless joke, or say that Harry was delusion again. After all, that was all the ministry did these days.