A Shift To Remember // DOFTY

Barriers

It was now a month since Isaac hurt Ben and Dom was keeping his promise and staying away from his boyfr- ex-boyfriend. Dom couldn't help seeing Isaac sometimes though, just across the street or in the supermarket, or in the tea shop they both like so much. And every time Dom sees him he can't help the longing and desperation he feels. The way his heart aches, as if it wants to be with Isaac again. Dom's head wins this one though. He saw how badly Ben got hurt, the bright blue cast that had just come off his arm from where Isaac had broken it was proof. He still had nasty yellowing bruises that reminded Dom of his mistakes every time he looked at his friend, and every time Ben winced when he smiled or something prodded at it. Dom couldn't stand it. He felt so guilty around Ben and everything inside him wanted to run away and hide. But instead, Dom retreated. He didn't go to school, he didn't come out. He stayed his away in his room, not even coming out to see his friends when they knocked on the door.

Zosia hates to see Dom like this, but she had known him long enough to know that there was no getting through to him until he had calmed down. This was exactly what she told Ben when he rang her, concerned. So now she was sat with her head resting against the wall, looking over at her curly friend next to her. She winced when she saw the bruises and cuts on his face and arms, and could easily imagine how Dom must feel.
Ben looked over at her, "what do I need to do to make him understand?"
"I don't think you can Ben. I think you just need to give it time." Ben sighed and Zosia lay her head on his shoulder. "He'll come round eventually."

Later that night, Ben's neighbours (Dom's parents) were hosting an adult-only dinner party, so his mum had left him his dinner to warm up when he wanted it, and also another dinner. Ben looked up at her, and she looked back down at him. She replied sharply ("You'll see") and off she went, perfect make up, perfect hair, out the door and across the street. Ben looked at the two meals before shrugging and heading towards the stairs. He was about halfway up when there was a knock on his door. Not expecting anyone, Ben cautiously opened the door, hoping it wouldn't be a postman asking him to sign a parcel for next door or something.

Dom stood for a long time, with his fist raised, in front of Ben's door. His mum had to literally push him down the path towards the house. Eventually, Dom built up enough courage to knock. He waited a while, worried, yet also slightly relieved, that maybe Ben hadn't heard him knock. When he did open the door however, Dom couldn't meet his eyes, even when his friend eagerly let opened the door wide letting him in.

Awkwardly, Dom stood in the porch of the Chilterns' house, looking down at his feet. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and whatever he was expecting, it was not Ben's arms to snake around his shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug. Ben didn't even pull back when he winced as Dom pulled on his bruised side when he hugged him back. Dom's heart ached as he hugged his friend. He forgot how much Ben meant to him, and he hadn't realised how much he missed him up until this point. Finally, Dom's barrier collapsed and tears flowed down his cheeks. He clung on to Lofty tight and cried, he cried his eyes out.

Later that night, over a steaming cup of tea, Dom and Lofty sat down and talked. Ben listened to Dom's concerns about Isaac and how guilty he felt, and Dom listened to Ben telling him about how his friend Dylan had just been diagnosed with OCD and was struggling.

It was nearing midnight and Dom and Ben lay, sprawled out on the sofa, everything fine between them and there was no tension. Not until Ben slipped off into sleep.

Dom had been watching his friend's peaceful face as he slept for around twenty minutes, before Ben's face became tense and he shifted in his sleep. It wasn't long before Ben started muttering. "No...no....no...not Dom. Please. No.." it reminded Dom of his own nightmares. Sometimes it would be Isaac hurting Ben, sometimes it would be some random person that Dom never remembered meeting, but the worse ones would be where it was Dom himself behind the punches.

Gently Dom shook Ben awake. "Ben..." Dom whispered. "Ben?" 

Ben's eyes snapped open quickly. He looked up into Dom's face and sighed in relief. Dom smiled down at him and without thinking Ben closed his eyes and kissed the other boy.