The Stars of Our Love [ Wattys 2017]

Epilogue

My Love Magnus,

I'm sorry it had to be this way. I really wish you didn't have to read this letter. I wish that we could get married and be safe in each other's arms. But not everything works out like we want it to. And unfortunately, our story didn't have the happiest of endings. 

I honestly don't know what to say now. I guess you already know what my fate was when this letter was delivered instead of me. I wish I could reassure you that my death wasn't painful, but I'm writing this in advance of my death, so I wouldn't know. But judging by the fact that we're going to war against the ones who want to raise Hell (literally) and the other fact that I said 'wish' again, my death was most likely excruciatingly painful. But don't worry, I was thinking of you. I was thinking of how your lips always felt like heaven on my own. How you always seemed to know when I wasn't feeling like myself. How you could make the smallest comment into the worst innuendo in the history of innuendos. I could go on, but Jace needs me to train with him soon. 

I guess I'm just trying to say that no matter what happens to me, no matter how horribly I'm treated or beaten, our love will always make it bearable. Just the smallest thought of you will make me stronger. I know I can handle anything if you're motivating me. If only I could have handled actually living instead of having to handle death. You know I'm no good with words, so just imagine every moment we spent together, every kiss, every touch, every tear, every laugh, imagine it all. Then bundle it up into one little letter that was written on the seat of a little toilet in a midget tent in the middle of a battlefield, and that sums up this letter. I'm sorry I can't give you one last memory. I'm sorry it happened this way. But now I can see Max and Hodge, and maybe even Will. 

Tessa told us about him. She came to help us, and I hope she can at least survive to comfort you. But anyway, she told us about him, and I must say, he sounded like an even bigger idiot than Jace is. And I take back everything horrible I thought about him. I understand why you would love him, and why you wouldn't want to tell me about him. He was your little happiness. Your secret fantasy. You only kissed him once while he was drunk, and only just barely. I hope you can find someone like him again to make you happy. 

Jace is calling me again, so I must finish this quickly. I love you, Magnus. More than I can even explain. You are thoughtful, kind, loving, gentle, amazing. Fabulous. I will be waiting for you when you finally come back to me. I'm sure it's nice. No stress. No worries. It can be just us, in the infinite stretches of the sky. Come soon, Magnus. Come soon.

Love Always,

Alec Lightwood

Magnus put down the letter after the fourth time through. It felt like tear tracks were permanently stained to his face. But no more tears could flow down them. He had already cried enough. Alec didn't deserve tears. He deserved better. Unfortunately, Magnus couldn't give him that. He remembered when Jace had first given him the letter.

Magnus was sitting on the Institute steps, waiting for the shadowhunter's car to pull up. C'mon, c'mon, he thought impatiently. Finally, a sleek black car pulled up in front of the building, stopping so four figures could climb out. Four? Shouldn't there be five? Magnus' thoughts became panicked. He knew lives would be lost, but he had desperately prayed his blue-eyed angel would stay safe.

He watched as Jace got out, followed by Clary and Simon. Alec? Is he- Magnus' thought was cut off as Isabelle ran out of the car and sprinted into the Institute, sobbing the entire time. The blood drained out of Magnus' face. "No," he whispered. His voice was strangled and quiet, ready to break. He looked up and studied Jace's face. It was paler and gaunter than when he had left. There was a bright red scar that ran from his left eye down to his jawline. But what had Magnus worried the most was the look of intense pain his Jace's eyes. He had only seen that kind of pain before under one circumstance.