The Stars of Our Love [ Wattys 2017]

Chapter 3

Magnus lay awake, the Chairman studiously ignoring him as if even he was mad at Magnus for breaking up with Alec. You're an idiot, he seemed to say. That kid gave good tummy scratches.

Magnus sighed. "I know, Chairman, but Alec betrayed me. No matter how many tummy scratches he gives, it won't account for what he did," he told the cat. Chairman Meow swooshed his tail in the warlock's face, then stalked off to go groom himself by the fire. Magnus sighed yet again and laid back down. Great, my own cat won't even stand by my opinion.

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Jace was awoken by screams. His eyes snapped open to reveal Alec crouching on the floor clutching his ears. His eyes were screwed shut, his face pure agony. Heart shattering screams were pouring from his lips.

Jace quickly jumped down and tried to comfort his parabatai. Tried. Alec just pushed him away, yelling that he didn't deserve anyone. "Alec, for the Angel's sake, calm down! Everything's fine!" he yelled, trying to break through the shell of pain the blue-eyed boy had built.

"NOTHING IS FINE, JACE! NOTHING! MAGNUS LEFT BECAUSE I SCREWED EVERYTHING UP! DON'T TRY TO TELL ME EVERYTHING IS OKAY WHEN IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT!" Alec screamed at him. Tears were streaming relentlessly down his cheeks, creating tracks in the dirt and blood he hadn't cleaned off his face yet. His breathing was becoming rapid and shallow, signaling one of his long forgotten panic attacks.

Jace rubbed Alec's back. "Please, Alec. Calm down. Freaking out won't help anything. Just breathe, okay?" he whispered soothingly. It was working until Isabelle burst through the door, quickly followed by Maryse.

"What's going on?! Is everyone okay? Why's Alec crying?!" Isabelle yelled. Jace sighed as Alec began hypervenalating again.

"Way to go, Iz. You freaked him out again. I just calmed him down," Jace scolded her. At least Isabelle had the grace to look embarressed. They refocused their attention back on Alec. Maryse was sitting by his side trying to calm him down by whispering into his ear. It was working a lot better than when Jace was doing it.

"Can you tell me what's wrong, honey?" Maryse asked him. Alec tried to catch his breath. Tears were still coming down, but his sobs were finally gone.

"I-I m-messed up with M-Magnus. He l-left m-me," he eventually got out. He buried his head into his mother's shoulder and began to sob again. Isabelle's face filled with rage.

"How dare that stupid warlock break up with you! Doesn't he know how wonderful you are?! All of that glitter and makeup must have finally seeped into his brain and killed any logic that might have been left!" she yelled. That promptly made Alec sob harder.

Jace glared at her. "Shut up, idiot! Alec still loves him, you don't just go insulting him!"

"How can he still love him? Magnus broke his heart! That causes obvious reason to hate someone."

"Yes, but they still love each other!"

Alec was becoming more and more furious with them. Not just them, but everything and everyone. "GET OUT! ALL OF YOU! JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" he screamed at them. Isabelle and Jace looked at him in astonishment. Alec's face was red with rage, a vein popping out on his neck. "I said, GET OUT!" he yelled again. Then he picked up a glass vase and chucked it at Jace's head. Jace ducked in time, causing the vase to shatter against the wall. They all scrambled out, leaving Alec by himslef. An animalistic feeling crept up on Alec, taking him by surprise. It wound its way into his core, tightening until the shadowhunter felt he would be sick. Something had taken over his mind and there was nothing he could do about it.

Alec picked up another item on his desk- a picture frame with a photo of Magnus and him in India. He extended his arm back, then pulled it forward, taking comfort in the savage crack of the shattering glass as it broke against the wall. He let out a strangled, raw laugh. Then he began throwing random things in random directions, an accurate portrayal of how chaotic Alec's head felt in that moment. Soon everything was broken, laying in haphazard heaps on the ground.

Alec looked around to find something else to throw against the walls. Eventually he settled on just flipping everything over. He toppled the bookshelf, all of his beloved classics crashing down. With raw, pain filled cries, he pushed his desk on the floor. Then he ripped a leg off of his chair and began beating the toppled desk with it. With every hit, he screamed out his frustrations in a wordless cry. Both the chair leg and the desk splintered under his relentless beating. He stumbled over to his bed, ripped off all of the covers, flipped off the mattress, and kicked over the frame. Unsheathing his seraph blade, Alec attacked the blankets, tearing them to shreds. Nothing was spared, not even the mattress.

Alec fell to his knees. His soul felt raw and empty. He couldn't even cry anymore. It was as if he was incapible of feeling anymore. His very soul had been drained of all thought or control, as if he were just a shell harboring whatever inhabited him. There was just... Nothing.

The blue eyed shadowhunter curled up into himself, vowing never to do anything ever again. I won't interact with this world until I pass into the next one. And hopefully it will be sooner rather than later.