Why You Left Part 004

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He stirs and realises that you're not back. You're taking too long to wash up. He gets up to find you but as he gets out of his own studio, he's stopped by Yoongi.

"She left."

A myriad of thoughts and expressions pass through his mind and face. Disbelief, anger, frustration, acceptance... and finally, hurt.

"I'm sorry NamJoon. I tried to stop her but she just... talked her way out of everything. She lied. She was desperate enough to lie to our faces."

Yoongi's words were just a blur in the air that never registered to NamJoon. He just cannot believe that you left once again, just like that without a word again. He turns around without another word into his studio. Closing the door behind him, he looks around the studio. Your perfume still lingers in the air. He turns to stare at the daybed where he held you in his arms just hours ago. He looks to his workstation where the both of you just laid bare your feelings through your work.

Suddenly he can't bear to be in his studio any longer. He turns around and slams the door out of his studio. As he runs out the main door, he can hear Yoongi shouting for him. But he doesn't hear the words. He just can't bear to be in there anymore. He can't stand looking around in his studio and seeing shadows of you all around him.

He runs to the river, the only place he can think of now. How could you? How could you turn away and leave again? He wanted to be with you and you only. He thought you felt the same. That was what he had heard in your music last night. And last night, he had thought it was an act of affirmation, not farewell. How can you hurt him again by leaving without a word? Without even trying to talk about things? Without talking about a possibility of a future together? Why? Why didn't you have enough faith in him to try? Why didn't you trust him enough to let him protect you? Why didn't you let him convince you that you were strong enough?

All he wanted was to build a future with you, have at least a shot at that. But you cruelly shut down that train of thought before either of you could even talk about it. He knows about your fears and insecurities, he heard that much in your songs. You know about his feelings, it never left him. He wants to try again, wants to be your rock, your strength, your support as he knows you will be to him as well.

You love each other.

So why? Why did you just did what you did last night and then did what you did this morning?

All the questions are driving him mad and he knows that he has no answer. Until he can talk to you. He needs to talk to you right now. So he calls the only person who has any inclination of where you might be.

"Kyung Hoon-hyung. I need to talk to Y/N. Where can I find her?"

He can hear the phone being passed to another person.

"NamJoon?"

"Hana?"

"Y/N... her flight is in two hours, I think she's at the airport now. Go and catch her if you can. Beyond that, we made promises to never tell anyone where she is or will be."

He hangs up and rushes to grab a cab.

Y/N, don't go... not before we can even try anything for both our sakes'

He literally sprints into the airport after paying the cab fare.

He runs around the airport trying to find you. But he starts to attract too much attention. He is too tall for himself, that he is too recognizable despite the hat, sunglasses and mask.

You hear the commotion around you even though you have your earphones on.

Bangtan. Rapmonster. NamJoon. Joon.

You freeze in a panic as you observe the direction of the crowd. Whichever the direction of the crowd goes, you are going in the opposite direction. The only problem is, you see the crowd right in front of you, which meant that he is right behind you. You lower your hoodie and hope to God that your sunglasses cover enough of your face, so that he can't help you. You brisk walk toward the group of excited girls, wanting to use them as a deterrent.

A sudden grip of your wrist and you're pulled away from the throng of crowds. Scared that it's him, you try to tug it out of their grip, but it was like iron. Unable to pull away, you have little choice but to follow whoever it is.

Finally away from the crowd, you see that the person who pulled you away is not Joon but Jin, you heave a sigh of relief.

"What is going on Y/N? Why are you suddenly back? What is going on with you and NamJoon?"

"Do you think that it's better for me to leave now Jin?"

"I don't know, why are you back here?"

"I came for Kyung Hwa's wedding and wanted to leave before you guys arrived. But Joon..."

"So that's why he disappeared."

"Jin, I have to go, my flight."

"You were with him the whole night, weren't you?"

You don't answer him for a long while.

"You were." he answers for you.

"Jin... please take care of him. I will always be thinking of him... I just... I'm not strong enough to be with him Jin. I will only hurt him. Jin, I have to go, I can't be here anymore."

Jin sees the tears in your eyes. He doesn't understand why you came back. Neither can he understand why you're leaving now. But he understands that you needed to get out of here before whatever is in your heart, weighs down on you so hard that it kills you.

"Go, and take care of yourself. Don't go missing again. I'm here to listen to you whenever." He pulls you in for a hug, an attempt to comfort you, as much as he can in your current situation.

After that, you walk into the departure hall, trying to be as discreet as possible. You turn around once you pass the immigration and see NamJoon staring at you desperately.

It is not long until the throng of fans show up behind him, the flashes starting to blind you.

You run.

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