What If I Can't Forget You?

I Guess I'm Never Comfortable or Situational

~CHAPTER 1~

I found myself running silently into my room. I quickly hid under my bed. Slowly, the sound of his footsteps grew closer. "Annnnnaaaa...where are you?" My heart was racing. "You can't hide from me Anna." I remained silent as his presence entered the room. I watched his shoes pace the floor back and forth, from one end of the room to the other. Until suddenly, he began walking in my direction. He stopped at the foot of the bed. This was it, I knew he had found me. I shut my eyes tight for a moment, then slightly opened them expecting to see his grin peering back at me. Though there was nothing. Bewildered, I continued to lay there silently, wondering where he had disappeared to. "BOO!" A pair of arms accompanied by Vic's face were suddenly reaching out for me. Screaming, I pushed myself back farther underneath the bed till I found myself pinned up against a wall. "Come here!" he yelled playfully. "Never!" I giggled back. "If you want these lips so bad, you got to catch me!" He began climbing toward me as I flailed my arms toward him, trying to push him away. Before he could reach me though, the wall I had once found myself pinned against, had disappeared. Instantly, I found myself falling back into a black abyss, deeper and deeper. Vic's eyes grew wide in fear and shock as he extended his arms out, trying to grab me. "VIC!!! VIC!!!" I shrieked, reaching out for him. I felt fear taking over as my heart pounded in my chest. "PLEASE DON'T GO!!! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!!!" I continued to scream out. He struggled for my hand relentlessly. "I CAN'T REACH YOU!" he cried out. I was drifting farther and farther away from him with every second; and all I could do was watch as tears filled his eyes. He continued to struggle helplessly for my grip, but the darkness was practically swallowing me; devouring me. I knew it was too late. He was losing me, and worse, I was loosing him... "ANNA!!!" he yelled. I was too far from his grasp by now... "ANNNNAAA!!!" His voice echoed as he faded away. "VIC!!! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!!!" "PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!!!" I screamed out in tears as I found myself jumping up from my bed. My arms reaching out in front of me towards nothing. I looked around, finding myself alone in my bedroom. It was just another nightmare... I began to cry hysterically, my hands shaking over my face. I had been having these nightmares for months, but it seemed they were growing more and more vivid each time. The nightmares started after my break up with Vic. I just wasn't the same after everything... I found myself constantly waking up in the middle of the night, crying out for him. Yearning for his comfort, his touch....his love. Though the only comfort I received was the friendship of a sharp blade. Each cut was a release. A release from the memories, the nightmares, the pain. A release from the misery that now filled my everyday life. The more physical pain I caused to myself, the less emotional pain I seemed to experience. The deeper I went, the better I felt. Cutting had become my only escape from the world...