saltines and capri-suns {tomtord}

2~ black and white pictures

tord woke up, his surroundings blurry. he could hear the soft humming of a car and the stinging smell of a honey scent mixed with a weird sugary smell. he was in edd's car. he must've fallen asleep during his session.

"oh, you're awake," he heard a calm british voice say.

he looked to his side to see edd behind the wheel with a cheerful expression on his features, the usual one. his brown eyes glowed in a weird sense, they gave off a weird warmth.

"how was your session?"

"same as always."

"finally opening up to jesse?"

"i guess."

tord hated that name, he just called him the therapist. he might've even hated him more than tom, but that couldn't be possible. 

"did you give him a hard time?" edd tapped his finger on the steering wheel, he was stressed over tord. he always was. scared that something might happen any minute. he was terrified of that. "i want you too tell him about everything, tord."

"i barely know him."

"but he can help."

he let out an angsty sigh and turned to the window of the car, not wanting to put up the motherly words that edd would give him. he didn't need that right now in his life.

his grey eyes scanned the objects that would pass. he couldn't see colors at the moment. all he could see was everything in black and white. the vibrant reds was all he could really see.

for a simple example, he could see red poppies but everything surrounding it was black and white. it was sort of like an episode, but not as dramatic. red was his color, it belonged to him. 

"tord, i'm worried."

"for the flowers in your front yard who are wilting, yeah me too," tord said, trying to dodge the subject.

"no, no, not that. i'm worried for you."

"edd, not to be an asshole, but fuck off."

he could see edd's lips form into a thin line, he ticked him off. of course though, edd wouldn't show it. he would keep his anger to himself.

"i want to help you, tord. i really do," edd muttered at the 'i really do' part.

"i don't need a mother looking after me, edd. i'm fine."

the atmosphere in the car chilled to a brief silence. that was until edd spoke up again to protest against tord's words.

"tord, i know you aren't eating. i know you have that empty feeling in your gut. i want to help you get rid of all that and be happy again. we can all be friends again, just like old times."

those words ran through his head. 'just like old times'. he hated the past. the present is all they should be worrying about. anything could happen at any minute. the past was just a joke to look back on. full of regrets and memories. that's all it was and all it would ever be.

"do you really want to know why i was on that roof edd? do you really want to know the truth, the sickening secret of why i looked down at death?"

"you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, it's your story. you can tell it to who you want to tell it to."

tord let out a thankful sigh to edd and slumped in his seat. he didn't really want to tell him, not just yet. not until he figured out the thing behind this whole flying episode.

"at least eat something tonight, i don't care what it is. i need you healthy."

tord nodded, he didn't want to put any more pressure on edd. edd already had the pressure of paying the therapist for his sessions. tord insisted on paying but edd snapped back and told him he was paying whether he like it or not.