Death is My BFF Rewritten (Book 1 of the Rewritten Death Chronicles)

Chapter 15: Death by Dramatic Irony

            I gave him a flat look. "Oh really, sweetie? Please, elaborate."

            "Clearly we're both in a bad mood. You'll make this a lot easier for the both of us if you keep your sass down to a tolerable level."

            "Why do I have to be the one to keep the sass down? I'm the one that went on a date with someone who was already dating someone. Someone who, might I add, is as friendly as an ill-mannered porcupine with rabies. And that date? Yeah, and the date was actually a psychotic serial killer, who lives a double life; one being an arrogant business man, and the other, a mythical creature who walks around carrying an outdated, ugly farming tool!"

            "For the billionth time, I'm not Death!" David shouted back at me. "You know, I kind of wish I was Death, because then it would have been a lot easier to lie to you." He took a long, uneven breath. "Faith, I swear to you, I didn't go out with you until I knew Tiara and I were over. At the time, we were taking a break, and then you were ignoring me after the carnival...and I might have--"

            I put my hand up. "Save the details. Please. The point is, neither of us trust each other, and you're a horny, psychotic, two-faced killer."

            "You're being so infuriating!" David ran a hand roughly through his hair. "I should at least be allowed to oppose your opinion of me, right? That's how these things work? Accusations?" He started to reach towards me. "Faith, come on, you know me--"

            “That's the thing, I don't! I know the magazine version of you! The Star version!” I burst out, darting away from him. I put a couch between us and my fists up. "Don't touch me or I'll sock you right in the face. I don't even know who you are right now."

            I started to feel light headed, remembering the last encounter I had with Death. How when we were kissing, I saw into his memories. Would David have reached out to me, seeking my touch, if he was really Death?

            He had reached for me.

            David had reached for me.

            Death wouldn't have reached for me.

            Or maybe that's what Death wanted me to think. If "David" could touch me, then he wasn't Death, because Death didn't want me to access his memories again. Death wouldn't want to make any physical contact with me again, unsure if it would trigger whatever had happened between us...

            Was Death really that clever?

            I felt like I was little by little going utterly insane.

             "Faith, please put your fists down. Look, I'm way over here. I can't hurt you over here." David leaned against the front of his desk. "I'm not Death. I'm not going to throw an axe at your head, or whatever that thing is called that he carries. Devin and I...we want to help you."

            "Sure you do," I laughed out a bit crazily. "Let me guess. I have to sign a contract in my blood to get your help."

            "Faith." David's expression was stern. "You've said your peace. You clearly think I'm Death. Now, because I've listened to you, you're going to have to listen to what I have to say about this."

            I pressed my lips tightly together, hands on hips. "Fine, let's hear it. I want to hear everything that you've lied to me about. Then I'll make my judgment as to whether or not I can trust you again."