Notebook

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Hey! Hey you! I see you there, browsing the internet while 12-year-olds steal income through babysitting. Why would people choose a 12-year-old over a capable adult like yourself? Those 12-year-olds have something you don't - The Baby-Sitters Club Notebook. For today only, its secrets will be revealed and you too can make a dollar an hour babysitting in your neighborhood! Don't let this financial opportunity slip through your texting fingers!

SPOILERS AFTER THE COVER!!!

(THESE SPOILERS ARE TOO VALUABLE TO MISS OUT ON)

My copy of The Baby-Sitters Club Notebook - I wouldn't call this a complete guide - more like a partial pamphlet that cost too much money even by today's standards

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My copy of The Baby-Sitters Club Notebook - I wouldn't call this a complete guide - more like a partial pamphlet that cost too much money even by today's standards.

The Baby-Sitters Club Notebook by Sonia Black and Pat Brigandi promises you that "everything you always wanted to know about the business of babysitting is right here in this book." Literally everything you want to know about babysitting is in this 62-page book. It's so short, it's more of a pamphlet, and most of the pages require you to fill in the information yourself! You can learn everything about babysitting in about fifteen minutes, then stick it to those 12-year-olds when you steal their babysitting jobs.

The first thing the book instructs you to do is to be prepared. How do you prepare? You read another book, of course! Page two states, "read up on child care and babysitting." "But you said that this book has everything I wanted to know about babysitting!" you say. Shut-up, stupid! I'm the expert here - I read the book, and the first step is to read another book.

An important step is meeting the children.

"Be friendly but don't overwhelm the kids with too much friendliness."

That's right, keep the relationship friendly and fun, but also professional and cold. Ask them their names and potential business prospects, but no smiling. You are an adult. Don't smile at children.

Your "Kid Kit" is a special pack of tools to deal with children. You can fill it with anything you like, but playing cards, crayons, musical instruments, and a portable tape recorder are the book's recommendations. This book has a whole page where you can write your own ideas. Pro tip not in the book: some things to avoid in your Kid Kits are fireworks, knives, meth, and guns. No guns because the house guns should be just fine.

The book also goes over some "Do's and Don'ts." "Do arrive on time or even ten to fifteen minutes early for last-minute instructions from the parents." This one might be difficult for those of you who like to waltz into English 102 twenty minutes into class, but you need to work for that dollar an hour - there's always a punctual 12-year-old stalking you, waiting for their chance to swoop in when you're late.

One "Don't" is "Don't argue with the kids." Even if they insist that Hemingway's contribution to literature is minimal at best, despite popular literary opinion, and you know that Hemingway paved the way for word economy in literature, you shouldn't stand there and argue with the children. We all know they're wrong; we just have to hope they grow out of their ignorance and respect Hemingway's biting, concise prose.

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