#19: Claudia and the Bad Joke

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Practical jokes are stupid. It's a way for someone to be mean to another for no reason and then say, "Hey, it's a practical joke!" as if those few words negate convincing your family is dead or whatever dumb joke they concocted. Granted, not every practical joke is like that. If the real victim is the joker, then I don't think there's a problem, besides, maybe, wasting time.

Maybe my thoughts on practical jokes have been skewed by the jokes gone wrong in R.L. Stine novels  and terrible jokes on YouTube that are thinly veiled, monetized ways to abuse children or girlfriends. Maybe I'm a sensitive millennial who can't take a joke. Maybe this next BSC book will show me some great practically-based jokes.

Or maybe not, given the title.

The book starts with the entire town, including the BSC, at a free Slapstick Film Festival at the library. I don't understand slapstick humor, but there's no judgment here.

See? No practical jokes. Just punching. And it's only eleven seconds long.

We have the obligatory rundown of every BSC member - including Claudia's admission that she's "one of the coolest-looking kids in Stoneybrook Middle School." After that, Kristy lets us in on her life's goal.

On the movie screen, a man dressed in a tux was holding out a corsage to a woman in an evening gown. The woman leaned over to smell the flowers and SPLAT! A stream of water got her right in the eye.

But just then, the man got hit in the face with a coconut cream pie.

"Awesome!" whispered Kristy. "That's my dream!"

That's a weird dream, Kristy. But my current dream is to read and review every BSC book, so I guess we're even. It's all about keeping your dreams practical and attainable. If the past four years have taught me anything, you shouldn't dream beyond your capacity, or else 200,000 people die (hopefully it's not as bad by the time this comes out - I'm writing this in September). (I'm editing and uploading this in February - yeah, past Amy, double that. It's still pretty bad.)

The next chapter is a BSC meeting and Claudia explains club logistics. Then the club receives a call from a new client, Mrs. Sobak, who is looking for a sitter for her daughter Betsy. Claudia takes the job. At the end of the meeting, Kristy sprays ink on Mary Anne's white blouse. It's disappearing ink, but I bet Mary Anne's blouse is still ruined. Also, that's a stupid joke. Haha, I ruined your shirt.

During a pleasant dinner and homework session with Mimi, Claudia receives a few calls. One is from , one of the most onerous BSC characters, and the other is the Prince Albert in a can prank call. Because kids love jokes about tobacco. I had to Google what that is. It turns out, to the surprise of no one, most jokes are not timeless.

The next day, Claudia contacts two previous babysitters of Betsy Sobak's - Diana and Gordon. Betsy is a practical joker and it became so bad, Diana and Gordon both refuse to babysit the child. Still, Claudia agreed to a job, and, dadgummit, Claudia is going to do the job.

She meets Betsy's mother, Cookie, and we learn Betsy's father works at Tile Corp. Claudia fails to find out if Tile Corp is a corporation for tiles or a subdivision of the army specifically for tiles. I will update if I find out more.

Betsy starts with the pranks almost immediately with a dribble glass. Then, Betsy tells Claudia where she gets all her pranking supplies.

"From McBuzz's Mail Order. It's a catalogue. All McBuzz's sells is practical jokes. I spent most of my allowance on stuff from McBuzz's . . . Well, I used to. Then Mom and Dad made me quit. But it doesn't matter. I already had McBuzz's best jokes."

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