#24: Kristy and the Mother's Day Surprise

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In elementary school, every May we would make some silly gift for Mother's Day. Usually, they were of the construction paper flower variety. I only vividly remember one. It was a small drinking glass with some crepe paper and glue on it, creating a sort of stained glass cup for shots, I'm assuming. Perfect for the Mom who's a day drinker.

I imagine many mothers fawned over these trinkets of affection. Not my mother, however. It was greeted with a polite "Thank you" followed by, "What do I do with this?" It's not that my mother doesn't like gifts — it's quite the opposite. Honestly, my mother gives out too many gifts and likes to receive too many things. The issue is that my mother believes in useful gifts. If it's a piece of art, it should do something else, like tell time or provide warmth. The cup was at least useful — it held liquids. It even held liquids that weren't potent potables. The paper flowers were pure decoration, and they never lasted long in the house.

Mother's Day gifts are on the brains of the BSC, especially Kristy, who is anticipating the arrival of a new brother or sister to the Watson/Thomas household. So, I hope you've wished your mother a Happy Mother's Day, and let's follow the BSC as they take the burden of children from the mothers of Stoneybrook, and the fathers are forced to do the bare minimum — care for their spawn.

It's Dues-day at the BSC! And speaking of money, the BSC is wondering what they should get their mothers for the impending holiday. Mary Anne reveals that it's a difficult holiday for her, and Kristy remembers times in school when they made cards for their mothers and Mary Anne would sink into her chair. I'd like to think that schools have accommodated children with single parents or same-sex parents now, but there are still parents who don't want their children to learn about racism, so I don't have much hope. I bet those parents wouldn't care about Mary Anne's family situation. "A family that is different from mine? How dare they exist without shame! I'm ridiculous!"

Later, Kristy has dinner with the whole Thomas/Watson clan — Charlie, Sam, David Michael, Watson, and Mrs. Thomas, as well as Karen and Andrew. It's chaotic, but Watson and Mrs. Thomas want to have a discussion. (Also, Mrs. Thomas's name changes to "Elizabeth." She was named "Edie" in the first book.) They ask for their children's opinions on adding a baby to the family. The older kids, especially Kristy, are excited for them. The younger ones, especially Andrew, don't like the idea. Kristy is convinced her mother is pregnant.

During the next BSC meeting, we get a round of "What's Claudia Wearing?"

She was wearing a pretty tame dress, too — with a red necktie! Then, she had on these new, very cool roll socks. When she pushed them down just right, they fell into three rolls. The top roll was red, the middle one was peacock blue, and the bottom one was purple. She looked as if she were wearing ice-cream cones on her feet. In her hair was a braided band in red, blue, and purple, like her socks. And dangling from her ear were — get this — spiders in webs. Ew. (But they were pretty cool.)

Claudia is bi. This is canon and it's great. Or she's a MordeTwi, which would be terrible.

It's during this meeting when Kristy announces her idea — she wants the BSC to take some of the neighborhood kids for a day. Do the parents pay them to take the gremlins? No, the BSC will be paying for the experience with their treasury money. It's a Mother's Day gift for their best clients. The giving away of free services creates Karens who think they're entitled to free shit, but that's a rant for another day. The thing that really pisses me off is that the fathers are called in to take care of the babies as if taking care of their own children is a special treat for the mothers. It was their disgusting trouser pencil that created the children, why do terrible dudes think they shouldn't take care of their ugly kids? If you see a dude who thinks it's the woman's job to take care of the children, would you kindly kick them square in the junk for me? Just so we can ensure that they don't have any children that they won't take care of?

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