Human Spines

Noticing Sickness-IV

Emmeline

        We're about a block away from the bus stop. I wasn't exactly surprised when Hans told us Lochlan left.

        We found a hotdog vendor and each of us is just now finishing our food. There aren't as many people out today but the same amount of Translucent. Why are they named Translucent if they're so colorful?

        "Am I going the right direction?" I turn to Dumaine beside me. Lochlan had told him where the bus stop is. He told Hans too, but Hans forgot.

        "Yeah, it should be just around th—"

        I'm... I-I... there's a sound coming out of my mouth. My entire body freezes, my insides melting, dripping to my feet. Then I feel it like a shock, starting from my toes, building me back upward with astonishment in my veins instead of blood. Because there's an incredibly large billboard advertising makeup. And on it is is is is.

        "Maddeline."

        Maddeline.

        Maddeline Jefferson.

        But I know Maddeline. Maddy. Maddy is not supposed to look like that. No no no no no. She's not. Her bones don't naturally stick out. And that's not how she smiles when she's happy. And she looks so pale. Her arms are thinner than they ever should be. Her collarbones aren't supposed to do that. No. Thousands of memories float to my head. This is the first time I've seen a picture of any of my family since that day. But these memories are the ones I don't enjoy.

        "She's done it again. She's stopped eating. She's sick. Does nobody else see that she's sick? Hans, Maddy is on the poster, so she has to be here somewhere, right? Where is she? Why did they let her stop eating?" Why can't I get these tears out of my eyes?

        I figured out a couple months ago that Maddy had an eating disorder. I'd been hiding in a library. I picked up a random book, not thinking I would learn from it. I ended up a horrified mess in the corner, reading a book that explained to me what my older sister had been doing to herself. My parents had tried to help but couldn't understand how. As she got older she did more than just starve herself. They would find matches or blades or weird medicines in her drawers. Maddy hated herself. She still must.

        "You... uh... that's really... depressing." I hear Dumaine. I didn't realize I was talking out loud. "But she was kind of mean to you though, right?"

        "Yes, but only because she was jealous." I don't like the way my voice is so thick with emotion. The way my heart is pounding so heavily.

        "That's no excuse. You're never too old, too wacky, too wild, to pick up a book and read to a child." Hans leans in. "And she never did, did she?"

        "No." Now my emotions are creating a nauseous concoction. Overwhelmed, disillusioned, devastated, repulsed, irritated. I don't want to talk to him.

        "Then why shed a tear—"

        "Because she is my sister!" My fear of old men is making a comeback but my anger is stronger.

        "I can see her through the poster, my sweet. She's just as she was when she was young. This is a problem you can deal with later, once you have dealt with the JIBBOO and Opaque. She is one girl, and if I remember correctly, the Opaque are planning on ruining more than a sick—"

        "Sibling?"

        We all turn. Three feet away stands the pale woman that caused a panic in Lochlan when I first met him. The Sibling.