Gone

Chapter 5.

"Oh, I'm not so sure I remember why we're here." Louis stutters, his whole body in a some-what shy state.
"We were here to talk about how we can help Eleanor to feel more comfortable being in the relationship with you." I state, reminding him why we came so we can leave as quick as possible.

"Yeah, yeah. What Harry said." Louis mumbled, his head down finding interest in his fingers.

"Right. Well we could try and get you out on more dates to prove that you're going to be together no matter what they say because you love each other," Gordan pauses to look at me. His smirk is still planted on his face. "and also try to post some more pictures to get the Elounor shippers more devoted. Just leave it to us, Louis" Gordan smiles, a fake smile obviously.
 "You can go now." he says and me and Louis scatter to our feets, rushing out of the room.

We walk to the car park in silence. It's not exactly awkward yet it's not comfortable. Louis looks to deep in thought to notice the silence so I don't disturb him. If I did it would only lead to questions. 
We soon approach the car, Louis only noticing when I come to an abrupt stop.

"Oh yeah, yeah. Sorry." He mumbles. Awkwardly, I slide into the passenger seat.
"Harry, you and I both know we need to talk about some things and if you keep avoiding the topic we're going to get no where" he sighs. My heart flutters when he says we but I know he means it as in a we need to solve our friendship way. 

"Not now." I mumble. Louis knows too much from that one time he caught me in the bathroom, how does he not remember how fucked up I am? Do I really need to re-explain.

"Well please tell me when Harry because we're getting fucking nowhere. We're supposed to be best friends, you know, or have you forgotten that too?
Why have you privately been seeing Management and why had they thought you'd 'came to your senses'?" Louis raged. My hands which were resting on my lap were now clawing at my wrist, out of Louis' sight of course.

Cut, cut, cut. So fucking weak you have to use your nails.

I slammed my head back against the seat. Louis was still raging about the little things, the voice was loud. So, so loud.

"Just drive me back home. Please." I whispered, not wanting any of this to continue. Not wanting anything to continue.

But you're too weak to kill yourself so be a man and deal with it, faggot.

"Fucking hell, shut up!" I scream, not aiming it at anyone but myself.
"Harry you know I'm only saying what's needed to be said!" Louis screams. He must've thought I was talking to him.

He car comes to a halt and I realise we've arrived at my house.
I'm quick to exit the car, hoping Louis wouldn't be following behind yet to my dismay, he was.
I unlock the door, not shutting it knowing Louis was behind me and if it were to hit him I'd only feel a lot more guiltier than I do at this moment.

"Wow, it looks like you do have a heart" Louis snickers.
Not if you keep tearing it apart. I ignore his remark and continue walking to the living room, sliding my shoes off as I walk.

I sit down on the couch and pray to God that Louis had decided that now wasn't the time to talk and left me alone. After hearing no movement I bring my knees up to my chest, resting my head on top of them. I ignore the voice in my head telling me not to let my emotions show and to cut and let the tears fall. It's been a long time since I've properly cried.

"So stupid. Ugly. Weird. Pathetic." I whisper to myself.

"Harry.." a voice chocked out from behind me. I was quickly shook out of my damaged state when I realised someone heard that. Louis to be precise.