CLARITY, (newt.)

four

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     HE DUCKED INTO THE HOMESTEAD AS QUICKLY AS HE COULD, HOPING FOR A MOMENT OF PEACE. He shut his eyes and let out the deepest sigh imaginable. The Homestead seemed empty for the moment, so he took it upon himself to explore. Several doors lined the slim hallway of the building. He pushed the first door on the left open. Somebody's room. It was small but looked cozy. A wave of jealousy washed over him. It wasn't fair that he had to sleep outside in the cold air, with only a cot and a thin blanket. He slammed the door shut again, shaking his head angrily.

     Sliding down the wall next to him, the Greenie rested his head in his hands. He had officially decided that this was all some elaborate dream and that he'd wake up back where he came from, safe and with the people he loved, with his memories intact. As he sat against the wall, he attempted to pinch himself awake. He even tried telling himself aloud to wake up. But nothing seemed to work.

     He laughed to himself. "You're so stupid. This isn't a dream, you lost all of your memories and you're never going to get them back. You're stuck here the rest of your stupid life, with these stupid boys," he let out a shaky breath that entangled his throat. He couldn't take it any longer. Tears he couldn't seem to control leaked out of his eyes and he tried to wipe them away as they came, but that only made matters worse. He covered his sobs with a hand over his mouth and tried to calm himself down, but it was no use. He knew he needed to cry. He knew it was normal, but he couldn't help but fear that someone would walk in at any moment and he would become the laughing stock of the Glade.

     So he stayed quiet. The last thing he needed was someone overhearing his cries and coming in to try and help. A part of him felt bad, not giving the Gladers any chance to prove themselves. Deep down, he knew that they were harmless, that they were probably feeling just as alone and afraid as he was, but he couldn't bring himself to really believe it.

     He needed to get out of there. He needed to leave the Glade and discover the truth. It seemed inevitable, his decision to leave, but it had come sooner than he'd thought. He'd have to take matters into his own hands. He would find a way out of the Glade himself, in secret. A rush of adrenaline washed over the Greenie. He stood up and took a deep breath, wiping away the remnants of the tears on his red cheeks. He told himself it would be easy. Newt had told him that the only way out of the Glade was through the Maze. He would go through one of the entrances of the Maze out in the woods, and he'd find his way back to wherever he'd come from.

    The Greenie started towards the door of the Homestead, forcing himself to smile. But before he could even turn the handle, to his surprise, the door swung open. Nick stood before him with his hands on his hips.

     "Ah, there you are," Nick pursed his lips, eyeing the Greenie closely.

     "Nick, hi..." his cheeks flushed a bright red and Nick motioned for him to go back into the building. Reluctantly, he obeyed. Nick followed him inside, shutting the door behind them.

     "Okay, you and I need to talk," Nick sat down in the hammock and he sighed, standing across from the leader. His plan would have to wait. "Listen, Greenie, I know you're confused about this whole situation, but you gotta cooperate with us. It isn't fair that we've been nothin' but nice to ya and you keep shutting us out,"

     He stared down at his feet, frowning as Nick continued. "Newt especially. The poor boy told me it's you that's been hard to talk to. You've gotta give us a chance here, Greenbean."

     "I don't want your friendship," he said coldly, keeping his eyes on the floor. Nick seemed taken aback by his tone of voice and groaned in response.

     "I wasn't asking you to be anyone's friend. I'm saying that you need to trust us. If we don't trust each other, then we have nothing. And I know it's only your second day, but we need to get moving. We've got a lot of work to do around here. So I suggest you quit your whining and moping around and try to help out," he retorted, not taking his eyes off the Greenie.

     As for the Greenie, he continued to stare down at his shoes, trying to keep himself from crying again. But tears began to form in the brim of his eyes and he finally realized that even though he'd been avoiding the Gladers since he arrived, he was lying to himself. He did want their friendship. He didn't want to be alone.

     "I'm sorry," he finally sputtered out, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I just don't understand any of this, and...I'm afraid. I'm afraid of this place, and that maze and I'm afraid I'll never get out and I'm afraid I'll never remember who I used to be, and it's just--it's a lot to take in," he whimpered, putting his head in his hands.

     He felt Nick's hand on his shoulder. He lightly tapped it and the Greenie lifted his head. "I know. We all know. Greenie, we've all been through the same thing and I don't think you understand that. We don't wanna hurt you. We're all you have now. We have to stick together, buddy," Nick's voice cracked slightly and his lip quivered.

     Afraid he'd break down again, he kept his eyes down but nodded to Nick. He stared down at his tear-stained sleeves and took another deep breath. Nick stood up and offered him a hand. He took it, and the two of them headed back outside.

He could only hope his face wasn't too red from all the crying he'd been doing that afternoon. Nick stopped him in his tracks again and smiled.

     "First, I think you owe Newt an apology," Nick told him and he nodded quickly, knowing he was right. He had been unfair to Newt. "Talk to him, then come find me later, good that?"

     He cocked his head at Nick. "Good that?"

     Nick grinned, patting the Greenie's shoulder and chuckling to himself. "Go on, Greenbean."

     He watched Nick walk towards the Gardens, and once he was occupied with some of the Gladers, he took his chance and made a dash for the woods. He still wanted to go into the Maze, that idea hadn't left his mind. He wanted to know what was out there and what it'd take to find an escape.

     He trekked through the mud, branches and leaves that lined the floor of the woods, going deep into the trees until he eventually found a door into the Maze. He slowly made his way over to the walls, looking back to make sure Nick hadn't followed him. Taking a step forward, he took a look into the entrance of the Maze, eyes wide.

     Just the intimidating look of the Maze made him want to turn back. The deep, dark feel it gave off, and all of the mystery it brought. But, he would go forward. He stiffened up, peering up at the blue sky above as he took his first step into the Maze

      "What are you doing?" a voice called from behind him. He spun back around on his feet too quickly and fell, landing on a nearby log. He groaned in pain and looked up to identify the voice that had stopped him.

     It was Newt who had scared him, and he was beginning to think that Newt sneaking up on him would become a recurring event. Newt came running over, helping him up without a word. The Greenie brushed himself off swiftly. He could feel Newt's eyes on him with his arms crossed over his chest.

     "After I told you how dangerous the Maze is, you decide to go and take a look?" Newt scolded. He glanced down at his watch, and then back to the Greenie. "Doors are gonna be closing soon too, meaning that if you got too close you could've been stuck out there the whole bloody night. You know, I told you this today!" he fumed.

     He had completely forgotten that the doors closed after a certain time. He swallowed a lump in his throat, feeling stupid. Feeling stupid for even believing his plan would work. Newt was right. The Maze was dangerous and there was no reason that he needed anything to do with it.

     "I'm sorry," he muttered to Newt, lowering his head. "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. I'm just confused, and scared, and I wanna know what's really going on here. I wanna know my name, and I wanna get out of here so I can find whoever put me, whoever put us, here. And I want them dead." He paused, taking a deep breath. "And I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for the way I've treated you. I haven't been fair, and I was hoping we could be-" he'd never thought he'd ask anyone in the Glade this question, "-friends?"

     Newt seemed genuinely surprised by the Greenie's sudden change of heart, but not nearly as surprised as the Greenie himself. Newt suddenly loosened up, lowering his arms and clearing his throat.

     "You, you wanna be friends?" Newt's whole face turned a crimson colour. He tried to hide it, letting out a nervous laugh.

     The Greenie studied him, cocking his head at Newt's actions. Newt turned away from him because he was smiling. His cheeks had burnt up so much that he'd had to look away out of embarrassment. This brought a smile to his own face.

     "Yeah," he replied timidly. He waited for Newt to collect himself, feeling a little better about the many times he had embarrassed himself in front of him that day.

     When Newt finally lifted his head, his redness and smile wiped clean, he simply nodded to him, hands behind his back. "Alright then, friends."

     There was a long silence between the two, and the Greenie took one last lingering look at the door into the Maze. An ear-piercing crunching sound filled the air and he took a step back, gasping. The walls slowly began to move, closing in together. He continued to take slow steps back towards Newt until he stood next to him. His eyes stayed fixated on the Maze walls until they slammed shut with an echoing boom. He could feel Newt's eyes on him but he kept his forward, too captivated by the doors.

     The closing of the doors seemed to shut down his idea of going into the Maze completely. He no longer had any desire to explore the Maze at all. He was left with only the fear of what lurked beyond the walls and even more hatred for the people who had sent him up in the Box.

     Newt snapped him out of his daze, grabbing onto his shoulder. "Let's go, you're probably hungry since you skipped out on lunch, yeah?" he said with a playful smile.

     He sighed, finally tearing his eyes away from the Maze and fixed them on Newt instead. He found himself wondering why Newt had been out in the Deadheads alone at this time of day. Those same words Newt had told him the day before popped into his brain. You're not the only one who comes out into the Deadheads to be alone. A wave of guilt washed over him. He hoped he hadn't been the one to make him upset. He knew now that Newt was good. He was a friend, someone he could trust. He quickly shook the thought away and began to follow Newt back into the Glade because he was right, he was starving.

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author's note!
i figured the revision of this story wouldn't do as well from the get-go, but for those of you who have been supporting samson lately, thank you!! i really really appreciate it.
love always,
chloe