Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go~.
I had no idea how long was I lying to myself. I didn't know that I was drowning in my own madness. I couldn't tell what was the right thing to do.
I couldn't find the man I was. I couldn't tell who am I today. I couldn't impart if I am still Sixth Truex Viclariso, the genius.
Who was I? Did I really survive with those lies. I thought I am stronger than this.
What happened?
Nasaan ang Kuya Sixth na paninindigan ang pagiging isang nakatatandang kapatid sa kanyang nakakababatang kapatid na babae? Saan napunta yung lakas ng loob niya na magdesisyon na kahit anong mangyayari mananatili siyang Kuya ni Sabel, walang kulang at walang labis? Kala ko ba kaya niya siyang mahalin biglang isang kapatid lang. Sino yung sinasabi niyang the man of his words? Sino yun?
Was that the Sixth who could still think straight? Was that guy dead now?
Sixth, where is he?
I am the worst liar ever.
Ayoko na. Pero kahit pagod na ako sa pagsisinungaling kailangan ko pa ring ipagpatuloy 'to. Kahit kaunting panahon na lang. Gusto ko pa siyang makitang maging masaya. Kahit masakit. Kahit hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nasasaktan ng ganito. Ang alam ko lang, all this time niloloko ko lang ang sarili ko.
I hid all my feelings beside that Kuya scheme. I couldn't believe it. Was I that desperate?
I hated it.
I had no idea what to love about myself anymore. I had lost my comfort zone. Why did I realize everything in one blow? Did I really deserve that?
Hindi ko na maintindihan kung bakit naging ganito na ako. All this time, I was the liar. I couldn't appreciate it. I just didn't want it.
I didn't mean to fall in love.
I'm sorry.
Iniwan ko na lang doon ng walang paalam si Sabel. I was blinded by my own emotion. I was really out of my mind when I ran away. How did I become a coward? The most painful part, I realized that I was such a deceiver. Why did I turn into that?
I had no idea how I manage to come back at our house. One glance of it hurt me. I just lost my second home. I just lost my real comfort. I couldn't care less about my surroundings, the next thing I knew I was walking away from the house.
"Sixth! Sixth! Sixth! " I couldn't decide whether that was from my mind or what until someone grabbed my hand.
I looked horrible, I could see that as I saw the shock in Nalki's face.
"Anong nangyari sayo? Bakit ka umiiyak? Pagkalalake mong tao, umiiyak ka," I wished this day never occured. I just couldn't welcome this day as a great one.
Nalki kept his eyes on me. He tried to pull me back to the Seisflina's house but he failed.
"Ano bang problema mo?" I hoped I could answer that question now. Sadly, I was still confused and lost.
I asked him if I could stay over in their house for a while. I had no other plan in my head if ever he didn't allow me. Maybe I would just spend the night at the park. That was a nice idea but with this cold weather, I doubt I could still breathe the next morning.
"Sixth, sige sa bahay ka muna. Sabihin ko na lang magbabachelor's night tayong dalawa. Pareho naman tayong single ata?" He emphasized the word 'ata'; maybe to tease me a little. Wala talaga ako sa mood mag inner thoughts sa mga pinagagawa niya. Nawawala na nga ako sa sarili kong mundo, papasukin ko pa siya; lalo lang magugulo.
