42. The One Causing All The Trouble

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"Your usual?" Matt asked as I walked into the grill, getting ready to pour me a shot of vodka.

"Yep," I said, sitting opposite him at the bar. "You're not gonna try and force me to turn my humanity on, are you?"

He laughed. "At work, I'm just a bartender. What you do on your own time isn't my business."

"Good," I said, downing the shot. "Because I need to talk to 'just a bartender'."

"What's up?" he asked.

I frowned. "Do you think that some vampires just... aren't cut out for the no-humanity lifestyle?"

He cleaned a glass as he thought. "If you guys are anything like humans... everyone is different. Some people can go on for years alone, pushing everyone away. Others need that human contact."

"I was fine," I said. "Then that bitch got in my head and now I can't work out whether I have any humanity or not. Which is weird because I dealt with Katherine back in 1864, I got over... everything. It's like turning my humanity off meant that my brain had room to remind me of all the pain in my subconscious."

"Well I'm not a psychologist, but it kind of makes sense," Matt explained. "When you had your humanity, you pushed down certain memories because you didn't want to feel them, you didn't want to be hurt by them. But when your humanity's off, you don't care about anything, so you don't force those thoughts away."

I smiled at him. "You know, you're wasting your time as a bartender."

"Not for long," he said, mirroring my smile. "We're all going to college as soon as we graduate. Me, Bonnie, Caroline, Tyler and Elena."

Hearing her name gave me an instant headache. Whether I had my humanity or not, I knew that Elena should always have been off limits.

"Hey, Mr. Saltzman," Matt said to someone standing behind me.

"Hey Matt," Alaric said, sitting beside me. "And Serena," he greeted me. "The one causing all the trouble."

"Are you joining me for a drink Ric?" I asked, raising my glass.

He hesitated. "Just one, I have papers to grade."

"Then you shouldn't be in a bar," I said.

He gave a dry laugh. "Good point."

Matt poured him some bourbon.

"So, are you back for good?" he asked me.

"No," I said. I had wanted to leave as soon as I killed/turned Elena. In fact, I didn't know why I was still there. "Have you heard from anyone lately? You know, Stefan... Damon... Elena?"

He downed his drink as Matt poured me another. "Nope," he said. "Why? What happened?"

"No reason, nothing," I said. "Anyway, I should get going..." I had to leave before they found out what I did.

"Finish your drink first," Matt prompted.

"Right, of course," I said. Serena Salvatore was never the girl to not finish a drink. I downed the vodka, and immediately my throat burned. I gasped and coughed, trying to get rid of the awful feeling. Vervain.

"What-" I gasped as I felt something hit me in the back. Before I could react, everything went dark.

...

Pain.

All I could feel was pain. My wrists and ankles were burning, I felt like my skin was on fire. I gingerly opened my eyes, finding myself in a dark room. Ropes were tied around my wrists and ankles, tying me to a chair. Each time I moved they burned me. The hiss of my raw flesh hurt my ears.

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